Personally, I think it’s nuts.
Those damn mooselimbs.
He said, “Like everyone else, I’m working from home.”
Right off the bat
"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."
"...why?"
"Just for kicks!"
All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.
I let him do as he soffit
Ra ra rass, kick em in the....other knee.
When he is standing next to your wife or girlfriend saying her hair smells great
Kid groaned, wife groaned, but I got a chuckle from the clerk.
Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college. Kevin Bompensiero: No, business. Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
He now knows the taste of defeet
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
They said no Minor allowed here . ..
Too many Loggins attempts.
He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
He said, "Working from home"
“Son”... “how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
He sits down.
"I'd like a Firley Temple, pleafe."
A biker nearby starts laughing.
"HAWHAWHAW, what kinda idiot talks like that?!"
"I have a fpeech impediment, I loft my teef in an acfident."
The biker keeps on laughing harder with every word.
"ALRIGHT THAT'F IT! YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET GIRAFFE-KICKED!!"
I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.
Dig a big hole, Fill it with ashes, Sprinkle peas on top, When the elephant goes to take a pea, Kick it in the ash hole.
A mega sore ass.
It can kick people in the groan
the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they don’t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, “ Hey...aren’t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?”. The rope looks at him confused and says, “ No, I’m a frayed knot”.
I guess I won’t be going undercover again.
All I'm saying is...a year or two after being kicked in the nads, I've never heard a guy say, "you know what! I think I'd like to be kicked in the nads again."
I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.
Two flagrant fowls means an automatic ejection.
His condition is pretty stable.
Menards
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
And gets kicked out, horses can't be in bars.
It's Saturday, and it's a turd, eh...
A blonde, brunette and a red head escape from prison. While running across a field they hear the guards coming and being tired, the red head suggested hiding in some potato sacks they found.
When the guards reached the sacks one kicked the bag containing the red head, she went meow meow. "Just a sack of kittens" said the guard. Then he kicked the brunettes bag, she went woof woof. "Just a bag of puppies". Lastly he kicked the blondes bag and she went potato potato.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Burglar: "Working from home."
Personally, I think it’s nuts
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts...
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.
Too many Loggins attempts I guess.
You cut a hole in the ice Line the hole with peas When the polar bear bends over to take a pea, Ya kick it in the icehole!
