I like German sausage, but its puns are the wurst.
Don't be bitter about dank puns. Danke. Bitte.
I don't get it (Puns Daily calendar)
Its punning on a whole new level.
Pun enters room, kills 10 people. Pun in, ten dead. GET IT, PUN IN TEN DEAD
I met a girl on Reddit and it ended in Pokemon puns
A few days ago I met a really cool girl on Reddit and then this happened. I asked and she is ok with me sharing it.
Puns here: https://imgur.com/a/8BOsNgn
Forgive my spelling but it was like 6am
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
It’s funny cause it’s true.
I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".
" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
If you had a Tesla and it got stolen...
Would it now be an Edison?
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
Why it’s hard to teach Aussie’s how to play chess?
Because they think every check is check mate
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s...
You're damn right it will
Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?
Because you don’t turn your back on family.
This isn’t just gross - it’s fucking fowl
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
Why is it spelled "Camouflage"
They shouldn’t have called it zoom
Co-vid woulda been a better name
Thx for the awards, kind strangers!
read dis with an Italian accent and it became infinitely funnier
If there’s a line of gay people, it’s not a straight line...
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He don’t come around here no more
I can do calf raises just by mooving it.
It’s my 3 year Reddit anniversary!
Getting karma should be as easy as cake.
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
Went to a new local grocery store called mommas and pappas. I bought a head of lettuce but just couldn't eat it...
Because all the leaves are brown.
Why did bicycle go to bed early? Because it was two-tired
I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down.
Do you think it's stumped?
I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it
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