I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.
I thought I thaw a pussycat.
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
An englishman, a frenchman, an african and a half-japanese man all order iced tea
If Frozen Water is Iced Water than what is Frozen ink?
Does this count as an iced mocha latte?
What do you call a little iced muffin that causes chronic pain?
Iced Mocha
Dad: Hey son, did you know that Iced Mocha?
Son: Huh? Iced Mocha?
Dad: Yeah! Iced Mocha lot of weed.
My dad just went to get some iced tea
.....claimed he needed to go on a Brisk walk
An iced ring donut
Sounds like a nice thing, don’t it.
“Hey, we brought you an iced coffee”
It's an iced cap!!
https://imgur.com/gallery/KLl1N
If I was a rapper, my street name would be Iced Ink
Did you hear about the Indian who drank 5 gallons of iced tea before bedtime?
He drowned in his teepee.
Thanks Dad.
My Dad and iced tea
My dad doesn't like coffee all that much and drinks a lot of iced tea, something I inherited from him. Anytime we're in a restaurant, and he orders an iced tea, the waiter or waitress always asks, "Sweetened or unsweetened?" To which my Dad replies, "Unsweetened, I'm sweet enough already."
Other people: "So you like ice puns?"
My 10 Year Old is Constantly Punny
He said "Remember all those ice puns I did the other day? I think I put too much... THAWT... Into it..."
The ice has SEALed their whiskers
What kind of glue can you use to hold ice blocks together?
What did Missy Elliott say when selling ice cream?
I wish my family wouldn't make such a big deal over not picking up dropped ice cubes.
It's just water under the fridge.
An ice-cream van overturned in our road....
Avoid the area, as it has all been coned off.
I slipped on the ice today, and when I got up I had a craving for pasta,
Must've been Italian ice.
What's the name of the dessert consisting of Espresso poured over Vanilla ice cream?
It was on the tip of my tongue, but Affogato.
A man is out ice fishing, but not having any luck. But he sees a guy across the lake pulling out fish after fish.
So the man goes over and says “I’ve been watching you catch so many fish today, but I’m getting nothing. What’s your secret?”
The other man says “Mffffmmm mmmm mfffmmmm mmmmm”
The first man says “What?”
The other man spits something into his hand and says “I said, you gotta keep your worms warm!”
What's the difference between the law and an ice cube?
One is justice and the other is just ice.
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.
I used to know the name of a dessert where you pour espresso over a scoop of ice cream.
Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?
Because it was de-livered.
Why won't Rick Astly ever take his girlfriend out for an ice cream date?
Cuz he'll never dessert you...
Bert and Ernie are sitting on the couch, watching TV. Bert says "Hey Ernie...want some ice cream??"
They found bones of a homisapien who lived before the ice age. Some say he was the first hipster...
since he lived on the earth before it was cool.
The ice cream man came by
Have you ever used an ice pack for a headache?
You should try it. It's a mind numbing experience.
What do you call it when a psychiatrist falls down on ice?
I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway
I have it all thawed out.
What did Thumper get charged with when he stole a slurp of Bambi's ice-cream cone?
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
What do you call a Dad that has fallen through the ice?
A hockey player collided with another player on the ice and knocked out a few of his teeth.
However it was acci-dental.
I swallowed an ice cube the other day
I'm getting worried, I still haven't passed it yet
I got arrested for dumping ice under the overpass last night. I thought they would have let me go this morning.
Surely it's just water under the bridge by now?
What did the werewolf order from the ice cream shop?
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Why did the ice cream machine need money?
Did you hear about the guy who sat on the ice toilet?
Burt: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?
Ernie: Sherbert
EDIT: Wow, I'm amazed at the upvotes.. Totally made my day. I came up with this yesterday while staring at bees pollinating our flowers. Random.
Why should you never ice skate on a duck pond?
Because the ice might quack.
If you download something illegally on a samsung smart fridge
Is that copyright infridgement?
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Why didn’t my boyfriend laugh at my awesome ice cream joke?
Because he was laughtose intolerant
What do you get when you run out of ice?
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
My son is saving his money for an Icee.
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.
Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
Why didn't you eat your espresso and ice cream?
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