An englishman, a frenchman, an african and a half-japanese man all order iced tea

It was very bizarre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotEye9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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My dad just went to get some iced tea

.....claimed he needed to go on a Brisk walk

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
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Did you hear about the Indian who drank 5 gallons of iced tea before bedtime?

He drowned in his teepee.

Thanks Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matraxia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Iced Tea

http://imgur.com/a/pLvL5

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domovo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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My Dad and iced tea

My dad doesn't like coffee all that much and drinks a lot of iced tea, something I inherited from him. Anytime we're in a restaurant, and he orders an iced tea, the waiter or waitress always asks, "Sweetened or unsweetened?" To which my Dad replies, "Unsweetened, I'm sweet enough already."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brain13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Sad story about the Native American that drank 37 glasses of ice tea. The next morning they found him dead...

Face down in his tea pee.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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What do cats put in their ice tea?

Mice cubes!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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My girlfriend asked me what Watermelon Ice Tea would taste like.

I told her it would taste like Watermelon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murkantor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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The unsinkable tea infuser
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justlooking250
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
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Why is letter T so hot?

Because no one likes cold T(ea)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k_1543
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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β€œWhy is there two cases of Arizona outside?”

We live in the cold state and I didn’t have enough fridge space for a case of Arizona ice tea. So I put it out the sliding door.

My son asks β€œwhy are there two cases of Arizona outside?”

I said β€œjust trying to warm things up a bit...”

He just stared at me for 5 seconds then walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JordanMichael08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I just hit my fiancee with this one.

The largest container we have in our house is a tea pot. and I was extra thirsty so I wanted more water than usual. So I go to the freezer and load the teapot with some ice, and fill it up with water.

Fiancee: - "What are you making?"

me: - "Ice tea."

queue eye rolls from the fiancee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoopiesCoin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Hadn’t heard this one

I’m sitting in the breakroom, when my boss walks in. He sees one of my fellow employees with two big bottles of ice tea. Boss looks at him and says β€œbe careful drinking all that tea if you are going camping....you might drown in your teepee”

I bout died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drew8gr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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"Geez, Dad, you're so cool"

"I'm like Kool-aid".

ten minutes later dad runs back into the room

"No! Wait! I'm cooler than Kool-aid. I'm iced tea."

He still calls himself "iced tea" under his breath sometimes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/csjo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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The padawan has become the master. Got my dad.

While driving around today running errands.

Dad: I'm gonna stop here at Sonic. I'm in the mood for an Iced Tea.

Me: I'm more of an LL Cool J guy myself, but I can make an exception.

He looked at me with a mixture of "ugh" and "I'm so proud"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justinerwin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2017
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Got a triple facepalm with this one

Was closing at the restaurant I worked at, when someone started breaking down the iced tea station. While checking if any tables were drinking it, she asked "Tim, do you need tea?"

Before he could respond, I said "of course he does. Without it, he'd be Im.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
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Fried Ice Cream

Sister in law was watching my kids and my wife and I went out for dinner. Sent her a picture of my wife's dessert and the following conversation happened.

Me: Mmmmmmmmm Fried Ice Cream

S-I-L: Ugh haven't had that in forever!

Me: It's green tea ice cream. How long has that been?

SIL: Never tried green tea ice cream. But I love fried ice cream. Well, I use to anyway haha. Nothing tastes the same since I had kids.

Me: Yeah, that's why I never ate my kids. Leaves a foul taste in your mouth forever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoPhilly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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My friend is a dad of 2 and dropped this on me today.

I asked him if he wanted a glass for some iced tea and he asked why? I said im just asking? Oh your just an ass king?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JZinDaHouseNow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
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Lemon with that?

One of my dad's favorite jokes to pull on waiters/waitresses before he passed.

Waitress "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Dad "May I please have an unsweetened iced tea."

Waitress "Would you like a lemon with that?"

Dad "OH GOD NOT A WHOLE ONE!"

The look on the waitress's face was priceless every time.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CmeDIG
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
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Dad Jokes never go away(grand-dad joke)

Starting way back when I was just a little kid, spending time with my grandparents in Illinois.

Drinking ice tea with lunch. We always had a little bottle of sweetener on the table for the tea.

Me: "Grandpa, will you pass the sweetener?" Grandpa: "Oh just have your grandmother put her finger in there, she's sweet enough. "

Both dad and grandpa would bust up laughing.

I would giggle until the millionth time hearing it. But i love my grandpa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chubgamer442
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Granddadjoke, I hope these work here.

I'm a waiter. I had three people sitting at my table. Two middle aged adults and their father. The two adults ordered Ice Teas and the father ordered a crown and seven up. As I was placing down his drink he said, "...and I'm the designated driver." I laughed but the other two just groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvl6charmander
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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