Iced Tea Puns

It was very bizarre.

.....claimed he needed to go on a Brisk walk

He drowned in his teepee.

Thanks Dad.

http://imgur.com/a/pLvL5

My dad doesn't like coffee all that much and drinks a lot of iced tea, something I inherited from him. Anytime we're in a restaurant, and he orders an iced tea, the waiter or waitress always asks, "Sweetened or unsweetened?" To which my Dad replies, "Unsweetened, I'm sweet enough already."

Face down in his tea pee.

Mice cubes!

I told her it would taste like Watermelon.

We live in the cold state and I didn’t have enough fridge space for a case of Arizona ice tea. So I put it out the sliding door.

My son asks “why are there two cases of Arizona outside?”

I said “just trying to warm things up a bit...”

He just stared at me for 5 seconds then walked away.

Because no one likes cold T(ea)

The largest container we have in our house is a tea pot. and I was extra thirsty so I wanted more water than usual. So I go to the freezer and load the teapot with some ice, and fill it up with water.

Fiancee: - "What are you making?"

me: - "Ice tea."

queue eye rolls from the fiancee.

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

‘Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

I’m sitting in the breakroom, when my boss walks in. He sees one of my fellow employees with two big bottles of ice tea. Boss looks at him and says “be careful drinking all that tea if you are going camping....you might drown in your teepee”

I bout died.

While driving around today running errands.

Dad: I'm gonna stop here at Sonic. I'm in the mood for an Iced Tea.

Me: I'm more of an LL Cool J guy myself, but I can make an exception.

He looked at me with a mixture of "ugh" and "I'm so proud"

"I'm like Kool-aid".

ten minutes later dad runs back into the room

"No! Wait! I'm cooler than Kool-aid. I'm iced tea."

He still calls himself "iced tea" under his breath sometimes.

Was closing at the restaurant I worked at, when someone started breaking down the iced tea station. While checking if any tables were drinking it, she asked "Tim, do you need tea?"

Before he could respond, I said "of course he does. Without it, he'd be Im.

Sister in law was watching my kids and my wife and I went out for dinner. Sent her a picture of my wife's dessert and the following conversation happened.

Me: Mmmmmmmmm Fried Ice Cream

S-I-L: Ugh haven't had that in forever!

Me: It's green tea ice cream. How long has that been?

SIL: Never tried green tea ice cream. But I love fried ice cream. Well, I use to anyway haha. Nothing tastes the same since I had kids.

Me: Yeah, that's why I never ate my kids. Leaves a foul taste in your mouth forever.

I asked him if he wanted a glass for some iced tea and he asked why? I said im just asking? Oh your just an ass king?

One of my dad's favorite jokes to pull on waiters/waitresses before he passed.

Waitress "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Dad "May I please have an unsweetened iced tea."

Waitress "Would you like a lemon with that?"

Dad "OH GOD NOT A WHOLE ONE!"

The look on the waitress's face was priceless every time.

Starting way back when I was just a little kid, spending time with my grandparents in Illinois.

Drinking ice tea with lunch. We always had a little bottle of sweetener on the table for the tea.

Me: "Grandpa, will you pass the sweetener?" Grandpa: "Oh just have your grandmother put her finger in there, she's sweet enough. "

Both dad and grandpa would bust up laughing.

I would giggle until the millionth time hearing it. But i love my grandpa.

I'm a waiter. I had three people sitting at my table. Two middle aged adults and their father. The two adults ordered Ice Teas and the father ordered a crown and seven up. As I was placing down his drink he said, "...and I'm the designated driver." I laughed but the other two just groaned.