Did you hear about the pro wrestler who came up with a method to remove hemorrhoids by hammering them?
He called it the Pile Driver.
I spent too much time hammering today...
I'm going to be Thor in the morning
What do you call a flightless bird hammering your knee?
Mom was in the living room hammering a nail in the wall to hang a frame...
...and she says "I think I hit a stud."
My dad yells out from the kitchen "That's funny, I didn't feel anything!"
I just made a song about hammers.
The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
Today I will be talking about the Makita 18V Cordless 1/2-Inch Hammer Drive
A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
If you can’t hammer screws
I bought a new hammer for a cheap price
I really nailed it this time
Once i told a hammer joke
I was always wondering why hammers fall down.
You look like a rusty nail, are you hammered?
Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?
He didn’t want to steal his thunder
What's the opposite of a croissant?
Who invented the door hammer?
What happens to the files in my Dell laptop when I smash it with a hammer?
Did you guys hear about the blind carpenter?
He picked up a hammer and saw
This guy with a hammer kept screaming like it was an emergency...
This is not a drill! This is not a drill! STOP!
.
.
.
Hammer time!
I never like going over to MC Hammers house
He never lets me touch anything
“I need some nails and a hammer”-fiancé
‘I have 10 nails but I’d rather not hit them with a hammer.’ -me
My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"
To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"
What do you call a bearded man holding a Hammer and a Sickle
I was helping my dad with construction he told me to get the hammer but I accidentally gave him the drill
He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up
What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?
Meet my new friend - hammer.
Dad: Do me a favour and pass up the hammerfor
Kid: What's a hammerfor?
Dad: Hammering, you fool.
What do you get when you cross a cookie and a hammer?
Want to hear a joke about construction?
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
Have you ever been in MC Hammer's house?
It's horrible, you can't touch anything
This hammerhead shark made of hammer heads.
Why the did hammer hit the nail through the wall.
To drive the point across.
Why did the hammer feel bad?
Because he hit his head.
(From my 5yr old daughter; I’m so proud)
A ribeye looks over at the spiky hammer, and asks the cube steak, "What's that?"
Dad picked up some cadmium, osmium, and lead
*Dad is hammering around in the garage*
Son: Whatcha doing?
Dad: I'm thinking about playing in heavy metal band
If thor throws his hammer a long distance,
Does that make it Mjol-far?
Home Depot wouldn't let me buy a hammer in store.
They said they have to mallet to me.
Carpentry is hard work
That's why i get hammered after work
Why did the anvil get sent to AA?
He was always getting hammered
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