After graduating from the Aerosmith Chinese culinary and language school, I can finally...
Wok this way, and talk this way
An idiot graduating from university…
…is known as a baka-laureate.
/Oh I'm such a weeb
I was just voted “Least Likely to Succeed” by my graduating class.
What do you say to congratulate someone on graduating?
What did the dog get after graduating college?
(OC) I’m graduating tomorrow, this is my cap. Forever a loan
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Dear Dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
I just took my last exam before graduating out of culinary school.
The final was a piece of cake.
conGRADulations on GRADuating
What does a tall person say after graduating
I graduated at the top of my class
i told my dad i was graduating with Summa Cum Laude
and he said "you're graduating Cumma Matata?"
My dad won "Most Likely To Surprise You" amongst his graduating senior class
Dad joked by a girl graduating to become a labor and delivery nurse
Her graduation cap read: "L&D nurse, at your cervix"
You are a graduate of accounting and can't even tell when your SO is losing interest... smh
Graduation speaker: I see deez sign dat say, “Don’t be a litter bug.” Dat’s wat I say to you! Don’t be a litter bug! If you’re gonna be a bug,
Why didn't the chef graduate culinary school?
He failed the main course.
Today I finally graduate after 8 years..
My buddy Miles went on a Europe trip after his graduation.
He loved the culture so much he changed his name to Kilometres.
At this year's graduation cermony @ UCLA, James Hetfield will receive the Jim Henson memorial degree...
...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🤘
When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.
Then I can have a “Hoosier Daddy” bumper sticker.
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
I'm surprised to find myself working at NASA even though i never graduated high school.
Someone had to clean the toilets and keep the place clean.
What do you say to a vampire when he graduates? (and other monster jokes from a book I had)
Countdraculations.
What is 5m. tall, hairy and flies at 2,179 km/h?
A King Kongcorde.
What do witches use to know the hour?
A witch watch.
What do you call a chicken spirit?
A poultrygeist.
And one mine:
What do you call a house inhabited by a chicken spirit?
A hen-ted house.
To the class of 2020, con-graduations
Steve Jobs never graduated
I found out that Steve Jobs never graduated from college - I guess an Apple a day keeps the doctorate away!
When I graduated culinary school my parents gave me a gold-plated spoon.
It was a stirring tribute.
Whenever I have a doubt or confusion about something....
I ask my cylinder. He is a graduate, and speaks volumes.
At graduation the psychiatrist was given a wicker attache
It was his first basket case
What would be a good whale pun for a graduation cake?
What unit does a graduated cylinder measure in?
I was commenting on how everyone at my cousin's science academy commencement looked like cylinders.
Since they're all... graduated.
Just received a masters degree in 'garden fencing'.
I am now a post graduate.
Hey, do we own a graduated cylinder?
No, it never made it past the 11th grade.
I moved somewhere before I could graduate.
I graduated with a Chemistry degree, but the only job I got was testing carbonated beverages.
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Dear dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
dad
I just took my last exam before graduating out of culinary school.
The final was a piece of cake.
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Dear dad,
University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, dad
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Why didn't the chef graduate from his culinary class?
He didn't finish the main course
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