Actual conversation with my wife this afternoon.
Me: If they named schools after their most famous alum, then I would have gone to "Duane, 'The Rock' Johnson High."
Wife: I suppose so.
Me: Home Economics enrollment would go through the roof.
Wife: confused Why?
Me: So they could smell what The Rock is cooking.
Wife: Oh God, you are SUCH a Dad.
Edit: I apparently can't apostrophe.