Aluminum Foil Puns

You sheet metal.

Burnt Reynolds

It was a good aluminum foil

Villain: why is my calendar wrapped in aluminum?

Me: I foiled your plans.

[I am immediately killed]

She asked me to place some aluminum foil on some cookie sheets so I did. Then I threw my hands in the air and said:

My pans have been foiled.

I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!

1. As a ventroliquist, I made one of my dummies sing a song by the GoGos. I'm not going to tell you how I did it. My lips are sealed!
2. Im the only council member against the construction of the beach. Im going against the grain!
3. Why did God make me a conjoined twin? Im beside myself!
4. I put aluminum on a villain's mind control devices. I foiled his plan!
5. Even though I'm scared of heights, I still go skydiving with this girl I like. Im falling for her!
6. My shoelace company collapsed. I couldn't make ends meet!
7. I like using misdirection in my jokes to make people laugh. Or do I?
8. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll!
9. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a nerd. I'm honor roll!
10. The answer to this question, "Who's the president of the United States?" is a no-brainer.
11. I finished a race the other day. I won 'cause I killed all the Kenyans!
12. I don't know how to wear a wig. At least not off the top of my head.
13. I went grocery shopping at Harris Teeter for a 50% off everything sale. I went in for a carrot and came out with a half, which is why I now shop at Whole Foods!
14. If youre being attacked by zombies, just throw a party! Nobody wants to kill the life of the party!
15. I used to date a girl, who still uses a nightlight. What a turn-off!

I wasn’t feeling quite like myself one day, so when she ran to me and shouted, “Aluminum!” I responded, “Can it! My plans have been foiled and I’m not in the mood to scrap.”

After finding some time for a date night/sexy time in our busy schedules we went out to dinner at Qdoba because we're too cheap to afford much else right now. While eating my burrito I must have chomped down HARD on the aluminum foil and my lip started bleeding.

She looks at me and says "Irony: we plan a night to have sex and you cut your lip on a burrito."

I responded "Iron-y: the taste of my kisses tonight."

They made a ball from some aluminum foil. My dad told them that now they're playing with a "Wif-foil ball".

I was dyeing my hair and came downstairs with aluminum foil all over my head; My stepdad (watching TV), says as I approach him: "The TV reception is getting better"

You sheet metal

you sheet metal.

You sheet metal.

You sheet metal.

You sheet metal

You sheet metal