Why can’t the club footed nazi drink milk?
Because he lacks toes and tolerance
It required a lot of effort for a man to implement a rule about only allowing large-footed patrons into his restaurant.
Pun Request: Foot
I need to write a bit about "digital footprints" for a class.
I figured I should throw a few foot puns in to spice things up.
However, soon I found that trouble was afoot.
I'm starting to run dry and am close to being dead on my feet.
Can I get a few extra hands (and feet) to throw in some ideas?
Toe/heel/knee puns also welcome.
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
What foot dont they make shoes for?
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
Going to the foot doctor tomorrow.
Don't often think about my feet. They are usually the furthest thing from my mind.
What has 5 toes, but isn’t your foot?
I'm 6 foot 6 inches (~196cm) and I recently found the cause for my back problems.
Almost everyone looks up to me. Being a role model to that many people is a lot of weight for one to carry on their shoulders.
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
Foot massages,
they're good for the sole.
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?
Why was the Monarch only one foot tall?
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
Those people who refuse to date foot amputees?
They are lack toes intolerant.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
I thought I was being very clever but I’ve been known to put my foot in my mouth.
Why do foot fetishist never win?
Because they love the taste of defeet.
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
Today i learned about foot fungus
Talk about tripping on shrooms!
Whats a foot long and slippery?
What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?
A guy got his foot stuck in a vat of milk.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
What did the cell say to the other cell who stepped on its foot?
I accidentally cut off most of my foot
I cut my foot whilst chopping wood
It was an axeident waiting to happen
What's the hardest foot to buy a shoe for?
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
It's the opposite day and my friend challenges me in tic tac toe. when it's his turn, he grabs the pencil by his foot. I ask him why and he responds:
"I'm playing the toe tactic"
I think the front of my foot has gone dead-asleep.
Now they are a bunch of coma-toes.
Why is 2+2= 5 like your left foot?
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
Americans: I broke my foot
The rest of the world: I broke my metre
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do you get when your foot falls asleep?
What do you call a 6 foot man named mike?
Why are foot fetishists losers?
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can’t believe it’s not better.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
A tub of margarine fell on my Foot last week
And it's still bruised, I can't believe it's not better.
What has 5 toes but isn’t your foot?
What has 5 toes but isn’t your foot
Why is the king only one foot tall?
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