Who keeps order in the food court?

The bay leaf.

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📅︎ Feb 26 2020
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I witnessed a bear attack at the food court today!

I was at the shopping maul.

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📅︎ Oct 23 2019
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Food Court
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👤︎ u/spatarana
📅︎ Feb 19 2019
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Whoever called the loops in malls with restaurants "food courts" missed a huge opportunity. They ought to be cul-de-snacks.
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📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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Restaurant I stumbled upon in a food court last night imgur.com/gFAniWv
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📅︎ Mar 21 2014
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Overheard while eating in a food court

The daughter was opening up a Taco Bell taco and said with some excitement "It's nacho cheese!"

Her dad looked at it and said, " I know it's not, it's yours."

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👤︎ u/figyros
📅︎ Dec 07 2013
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Sbarro pizza company charged with violating state COVID executive order

They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.

Good evening. I'll see my self out...

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👤︎ u/ldeweyjr
📅︎ Dec 05 2020
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There once was a man who would buy tons of buckets of roofing sealant, change the label then resell them.

Sometimes he would simply rename the brand. Sometimes he would name it a different product entirely. In a few horrific instances he repackaged it as food products. Eventually he was found, arrested, and brought to court. And though he admitted to doing all those things, he insisted that he had done nothing illegal and that moreover, his actions were protected by the law and the Constitution. His reasoning?

"I have the right to rename sealant!!!"

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📅︎ Jul 29 2020
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All year, I've been telling my friends I just want to meet someone, fall in love be married by my next birthday...

which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"

And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.

I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.

But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.

With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and proposed to them both (on separate nights, of course) and they both said no. In fact, though they never knew of each other, I went from two good things to both of them not returning my calls. I guess proposing in a mall food court (for Jenny) or down on my knees in front of the bathroom at a minor league baseball game (Susan) were not my best laid plans, doomed to fail. Or maybe I just reeked of desperation.

So the morning of my birthday, I was practically in tears, deep in depression as I knew I missed my deadline. But my friends came though, kind of. They took me out bar hopping and then we all went back to my place where they had a stripper waiting in my favorite chair. She got up, sat me down, and gave me a grinding lap dance. She said nothing, but after a minute, stopped, turned around, looked me in the eye and said "one." Then she started up again, stopped after a minute, turned around and said "two..."

This went on all night until she got to "forty."

It's been a few months now, and I'm not too sad. My friends really tried to get me married, and after two near mrs, I guess it was the thot that counts.

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📅︎ Aug 28 2019
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So I know of this mall that uses animal employees...

I was walking along the food court when I saw this one animal that was incredibly overdressed compared to the others. While most where in their uniform, this one was in a red and gold robe, and was strangely being followed by a bunch of Buddhist monks.

I asked one of the customers if it was an Alpaca Packer.

They said no.

It's the Deli Llama.

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📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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The tour guide says...

...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.

Me: That's a Segway

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👤︎ u/dlveazie
📅︎ Aug 02 2019
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Where do you settle the case between which came first, the chicken or the egg?

in the food court

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👤︎ u/ItsNotBer
📅︎ Oct 06 2019
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What happens to people who get arrested for starting a food fight?

They get tried in the food court

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📅︎ May 19 2019
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My dad and I used to dad joke each other a lot when I was a kid.

I was so proud of my own dad joke, I still remember this 20 years later.

My family was at a food court with lots of options so we all wanted to get different things. My dad opened his wallet and said to me, "Do you think you can eat on $5?"

To which I replied, "I'd prefer a plate, but I guess I could give it a try."

Given that I'd learned to dad joke from my dad, he smirked at me with what I knew to be pride.

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📅︎ Aug 07 2014
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Dadjoked by my daughter at lunch today

So we were at the mall today, grabbed lunch in the food court. My wife had gotten a soda with her lunch, when her phone went off to remind her to drink a glass of water (she has it set to go off like 4 times a day). Remembering that she had milk at breakfast, I commented to my daughter, 'Man, Mommy is drinking everything BUT water today isn't she?'

'Daddy, butt water sounds DISGUSTING.'

Sigh.

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👤︎ u/Fgame
📅︎ Nov 14 2014
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They should make a new reality show like Restaurant Impossible or Bar Rescue, but add a judge like Judge Judy...

and call it "Food Court."

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👤︎ u/paulja
📅︎ Mar 09 2014
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My mom dad joked my wife at Disney World...dad and I have taught her well...

Early morning at the hotel getting ready to go the Magic Kingdom, I'm taking my 6 year old to the food court, my wife asks my mom to watch our 2 year old so she can "jump in the shower"

Mom - "I wouldn't jump, there is no mat in there, probably safer to stand." And goes back to drinking her coffee....

I cried a couple tears of joy...

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👤︎ u/lilbandit
📅︎ Dec 02 2014
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In Honor of his Birthday, My dads ultimate go to (terrible) Dad Joke that he used every time and acted surprised when we finally caught on and stole his punch line

Walking through the mall.... They have a show model of a Buick that they are selling, sitting outside the food court...

My dad..everytime...without fail.....

"Would ja look at the parking spot THEY got!!!"

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📅︎ Nov 26 2014
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Some kids have no concept of fantasy metamorphosis.

So I'm at Costco picking up the hot dog meal I had added to my order at the checkout. The girl at the food court register yells to the guy working in the back, "Hey! Can you make me a hot dog?"

I looked at her dead serious, waved my spirit fingers, and said, "POOF! YOU'RE A HOT DOG!"

.... She didn't get it. Kids these days...

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👤︎ u/NGinuity
📅︎ Jun 08 2015
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Tomatoes

I feel pretty proud of this one.

Classmate to the entire class, interrupting the lesson: "Did you know that tomatoes went to the Supreme Court to decide if it was a fruit or vegetable?"
Me: "Don't you mean the food court?"

The class laughed pretty hard. I am only 15, so I'm not as good as some of you out there, but I am practicing!

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👤︎ u/Howzieky
📅︎ Jan 31 2015
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Walking through the mall with Dad...

and we see the cleaners washing a mirror in the food court.

Dad says: "I could see myself doing that job. "

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👤︎ u/BummySugar
📅︎ Aug 17 2015
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