I was at the shopping maul.
The daughter was opening up a Taco Bell taco and said with some excitement "It's nacho cheese!"
Her dad looked at it and said, " I know it's not, it's yours."
I was walking along the food court when I saw this one animal that was incredibly overdressed compared to the others. While most where in their uniform, this one was in a red and gold robe, and was strangely being followed by a bunch of Buddhist monks.
I asked one of the customers if it was an Alpaca Packer.
They said no.
It's the Deli Llama.
which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"
And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.
I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.
But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.
With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and propose... keep reading on reddit ➡
in the food court
My dad got fortune cookies from the Chinese restaurant in our local mall’s food court. He opened his up, and read the fortune. I opened mine, but there was no fortune inside. I said: “Dang, there’s no fortune in here” Then he grins, and goes; “How unfortunate” Sighs ensue.
...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.
Me: That's a Segway
They get tried in the food court
I was so proud of my own dad joke, I still remember this 20 years later.
My family was at a food court with lots of options so we all wanted to get different things. My dad opened his wallet and said to me, "Do you think you can eat on $5?"
To which I replied, "I'd prefer a plate, but I guess I could give it a try."
Given that I'd learned to dad joke from my dad, he smirked at me with what I knew to be pride.
So we were at the mall today, grabbed lunch in the food court. My wife had gotten a soda with her lunch, when her phone went off to remind her to drink a glass of water (she has it set to go off like 4 times a day). Remembering that she had milk at breakfast, I commented to my daughter, 'Man, Mommy is drinking everything BUT water today isn't she?'
'Daddy, butt water sounds DISGUSTING.'
and call it "Food Court."
Early morning at the hotel getting ready to go the Magic Kingdom, I'm taking my 6 year old to the food court, my wife asks my mom to watch our 2 year old so she can "jump in the shower"
Mom - "I wouldn't jump, there is no mat in there, probably safer to stand." And goes back to drinking her coffee....
I cried a couple tears of joy...
So I'm at Costco picking up the hot dog meal I had added to my order at the checkout. The girl at the food court register yells to the guy working in the back, "Hey! Can you make me a hot dog?"
I looked at her dead serious, waved my spirit fingers, and said, "POOF! YOU'RE A HOT DOG!"
.... She didn't get it. Kids these days...
Walking through the mall.... They have a show model of a Buick that they are selling, sitting outside the food court...
My dad..everytime...without fail.....
"Would ja look at the parking spot THEY got!!!"
I feel pretty proud of this one.
Classmate to the entire class, interrupting the lesson: "Did you know that tomatoes went to the Supreme Court to decide if it was a fruit or vegetable?"
Me: "Don't you mean the food court?"
The class laughed pretty hard. I am only 15, so I'm not as good as some of you out there, but I am practicing!