Who keeps order in the food court?

The bay leaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theycallmehokie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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I witnessed a bear attack at the food court today!

I was at the shopping maul.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Food Court
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spatarana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Whoever called the loops in malls with restaurants "food courts" missed a huge opportunity. They ought to be cul-de-snacks.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Restaurant I stumbled upon in a food court last night imgur.com/gFAniWv
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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Overheard while eating in a food court

The daughter was opening up a Taco Bell taco and said with some excitement "It's nacho cheese!"

Her dad looked at it and said, " I know it's not, it's yours."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/figyros
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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So I know of this mall that uses animal employees...

I was walking along the food court when I saw this one animal that was incredibly overdressed compared to the others. While most where in their uniform, this one was in a red and gold robe, and was strangely being followed by a bunch of Buddhist monks.

I asked one of the customers if it was an Alpaca Packer.

They said no.

It's the Deli Llama.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
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All year, I've been telling my friends I just want to meet someone, fall in love be married by my next birthday...

which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"

And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.

I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.

But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.

With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and propose

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Where do you settle the case between which came first, the chicken or the egg?

in the food court

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsNotBer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Unfortunate fortune cookie

My dad got fortune cookies from the Chinese restaurant in our local mall’s food court. He opened his up, and read the fortune. I opened mine, but there was no fortune inside. I said: β€œDang, there’s no fortune in here” Then he grins, and goes; β€œHow unfortunate” Sighs ensue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dead_inside_pear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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The tour guide says...

...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.

Me: That's a Segway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlveazie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What happens to people who get arrested for starting a food fight?

They get tried in the food court

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Real-Mario
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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My dad and I used to dad joke each other a lot when I was a kid.

I was so proud of my own dad joke, I still remember this 20 years later.

My family was at a food court with lots of options so we all wanted to get different things. My dad opened his wallet and said to me, "Do you think you can eat on $5?"

To which I replied, "I'd prefer a plate, but I guess I could give it a try."

Given that I'd learned to dad joke from my dad, he smirked at me with what I knew to be pride.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/songforthesoil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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Dadjoked by my daughter at lunch today

So we were at the mall today, grabbed lunch in the food court. My wife had gotten a soda with her lunch, when her phone went off to remind her to drink a glass of water (she has it set to go off like 4 times a day). Remembering that she had milk at breakfast, I commented to my daughter, 'Man, Mommy is drinking everything BUT water today isn't she?'

'Daddy, butt water sounds DISGUSTING.'


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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fgame
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
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They should make a new reality show like Restaurant Impossible or Bar Rescue, but add a judge like Judge Judy...

and call it "Food Court."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulja
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
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My mom dad joked my wife at Disney World...dad and I have taught her well...

Early morning at the hotel getting ready to go the Magic Kingdom, I'm taking my 6 year old to the food court, my wife asks my mom to watch our 2 year old so she can "jump in the shower"

Mom - "I wouldn't jump, there is no mat in there, probably safer to stand." And goes back to drinking her coffee....

I cried a couple tears of joy...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilbandit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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Some kids have no concept of fantasy metamorphosis.

So I'm at Costco picking up the hot dog meal I had added to my order at the checkout. The girl at the food court register yells to the guy working in the back, "Hey! Can you make me a hot dog?"

I looked at her dead serious, waved my spirit fingers, and said, "POOF! YOU'RE A HOT DOG!"

.... She didn't get it. Kids these days...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NGinuity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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In Honor of his Birthday, My dads ultimate go to (terrible) Dad Joke that he used every time and acted surprised when we finally caught on and stole his punch line

Walking through the mall.... They have a show model of a Buick that they are selling, sitting outside the food court...

My dad..everytime...without fail.....

"Would ja look at the parking spot THEY got!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostTHENf0und
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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I feel pretty proud of this one.

Classmate to the entire class, interrupting the lesson: "Did you know that tomatoes went to the Supreme Court to decide if it was a fruit or vegetable?"
Me: "Don't you mean the food court?"

The class laughed pretty hard. I am only 15, so I'm not as good as some of you out there, but I am practicing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howzieky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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Walking through the mall with Dad...

and we see the cleaners washing a mirror in the food court.

Dad says: "I could see myself doing that job. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BummySugar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2015
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