I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, βDo you want to hear todayβs special?β
I said, βYes please.β
Waiter: βNo problem sir. Today is special.β
Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I was at a Star Wars themed restaurant.....
I had Sky Walker soup. Wookie steak and Death Star ice cream.
The starter and the dessert were lovely, but the main course was a bit chewy.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
I had to reprimand my son for cutting up his dumplings at the Chinese restaurant last night.
I can't condone such wonton acts of destruction.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?
A Brrrrrrger.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
I've never had an eggs benedict at a restaurant as good as the one I can make in my own kitchen.
There's no place like home for the hollandaise.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the moon?
The food is great, but thereβs no atmosphere.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Why did the couple cancel their dinner plans at the local Indian restaurant?
They agreed it was a naan-starter
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Did you hear about that chef at the Indian restaurant that was bitten by a radioactive spider?
He hoped to receive super strength, but it was just naan-sense.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I was at a restaurant and they asked if I wanted more bread.
I had a more-roll dilemma.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I was at a restaurant the other day and ordered the Oasis soup because
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I dined at a casual Indian restaurant last night...
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︎ Sep 29 2020
[At the restaurant] Her: I want to break up. For starters, Iβm sick of your terrible jokes.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
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︎ Oct 10 2020
I waited a long time for my food at the midget restaurant
I guess they were a little short-staffed
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Upon receiving his meal at a restaurant,
The practitioner uttered through a smile, βjust what the doctor orderedβ.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I would do anything to get more customers at my restaurant to order the meat loaf.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
When you finish eating at an Australian Restaurant
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︎ Apr 14 2020
What did the cannibal order at a restaurant?
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Donβt wok away from me!"
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︎ Aug 23 2020
The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.
βThatβs a naan-starterβ I told him.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Next time you see a packet of salt at a restaurant, throw it at your friend.
Then say, βThatβs a salt!β
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant last night?
Battered Fish Everywhere!
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︎ Jul 18 2020
I tried grilled Aloe Vera at a restaurant today.
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︎ Aug 17 2020
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Hereβs the joke β What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
I just landed a job at a local Asian restaurant.
All I had to do was wok in for my interview!
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award
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︎ Jun 19 2020
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.
Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
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︎ May 31 2020
A man had a nervous breakdown at a Mexican restaurant
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︎ Jul 18 2020
I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!"
Everyone laughed...
Well, everyone except this one guy.
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︎ Jun 27 2019
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.
The waiter responds βItβs tap qualityβ
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︎ Jun 16 2020
At the restaurant, my family was nearly finished eating and I still had half a plate of food left. The waitress asked, "Do you wanna box for that?"
I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"
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︎ Jul 06 2020
I got my first senior discount at the seafood restaurant last night.
It smelled good but it tasted like caarp.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
I ordered an egg dish at a restaurant. When I finished, I asked the waiter for another one and he said...
"No, sir, that's un oeuf."
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︎ Apr 26 2020
After years of training as a chef, the only job I got was preparing oysters at a small restaurant.
I have to say it really shucks.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Today at work, I took a dish collector tub into the walk-in with me. I realized, most restaurants fridges can't even fit a car.
Yet, I just fit a bus in here.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I met this girl at the vegan restaurant who said she knew me.
But I never met herbivore.
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︎ Jan 10 2020
An italian is sitting at a restaurant table, with pizza on the other end.
"Pastapizza", he says to the waiter.
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︎ May 21 2020
I ran into a girl at a vegetarian restaurant that said she new me
But I've never met herbivore
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︎ Jan 16 2020
What do you call appetizers at a cannibal restaurant?
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︎ Mar 24 2020
Spilled my side dish on me at a restaurant today.
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︎ Apr 16 2020
When you finish eating at an Australian restaurant
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︎ Jun 02 2018
Eating at a mexican restaurant a man asked, βWhat are you eating?β
I told him itβs βnacho businessβ
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︎ Feb 17 2020
What did the mathematician order at the Spanish restaurant?
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︎ Feb 02 2020
A man orders soup at a restaurant
He orders turtle soup, the waiter takes his order and starts to walk off. The main suddenly sees his favourite pea soup and calls back the waiter. The man says "Waiter im terrible sorry but would you mind holding the turtle and make it pea?"
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︎ Mar 15 2020
I was waiting for a long time at the restaurant. The waiter came and said; sorry for your wait...
I said: are you calling me fat?
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︎ Feb 08 2020
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