I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, β€œDo you want to hear today’s special?”

I said, β€œYes please.”

Waiter: β€œNo problem sir. Today is special.”

Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a Star Wars themed restaurant.....

I had Sky Walker soup. Wookie steak and Death Star ice cream.

The starter and the dessert were lovely, but the main course was a bit chewy.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to reprimand my son for cutting up his dumplings at the Chinese restaurant last night.

I can't condone such wonton acts of destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?

What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?

A Brrrrrrger.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domidoms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I've never had an eggs benedict at a restaurant as good as the one I can make in my own kitchen.

There's no place like home for the hollandaise.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laimbrane
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the couple cancel their dinner plans at the local Indian restaurant?

They agreed it was a naan-starter

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crash8308
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that chef at the Indian restaurant that was bitten by a radioactive spider?

He hoped to receive super strength, but it was just naan-sense.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a restaurant and they asked if I wanted more bread.

I had a more-roll dilemma.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suttlesd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a restaurant the other day and ordered the Oasis soup because

You got a roll with it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Towsey-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I dined at a casual Indian restaurant last night...

It was so naanchalant.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/okayprobably
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
[At the restaurant] Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I waited a long time for my food at the midget restaurant

I guess they were a little short-staffed

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schricker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Upon receiving his meal at a restaurant,

The practitioner uttered through a smile, β€œjust what the doctor ordered”.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Replicatar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I would do anything to get more customers at my restaurant to order the meat loaf.

But I won’t do that.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When you finish eating at an Australian Restaurant
πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/remoestmoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cannibal order at a restaurant?

Raw-men!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultimatefinesser
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...

"Don’t wok away from me!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovethebigones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.

β€œThat’s a naan-starter” I told him.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Next time you see a packet of salt at a restaurant, throw it at your friend.

Then say, β€œThat’s a salt!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant last night?

Battered Fish Everywhere!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried grilled Aloe Vera at a restaurant today.

It was succulent.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedrivingcat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke β€” What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?

A1C por favor

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just landed a job at a local Asian restaurant.

All I had to do was wok in for my interview!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant

It was a Post-Hummus award

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shankapotomus007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.

Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Repluse
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A man had a nervous breakdown at a Mexican restaurant

Hispanic attack

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"

I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!"

Everyone laughed...

Well, everyone except this one guy.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.

The waiter responds β€œIt’s tap quality”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chubbypants3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
At the restaurant, my family was nearly finished eating and I still had half a plate of food left. The waitress asked, "Do you wanna box for that?"

I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I got my first senior discount at the seafood restaurant last night.

It smelled good but it tasted like caarp.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I ordered an egg dish at a restaurant. When I finished, I asked the waiter for another one and he said...

"No, sir, that's un oeuf."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheChronologer1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
After years of training as a chef, the only job I got was preparing oysters at a small restaurant.

I have to say it really shucks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Today at work, I took a dish collector tub into the walk-in with me. I realized, most restaurants fridges can't even fit a car.

Yet, I just fit a bus in here.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thoxis1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I met this girl at the vegan restaurant who said she knew me.

But I never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
An italian is sitting at a restaurant table, with pizza on the other end.

"Pastapizza", he says to the waiter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/njuff22
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I ran into a girl at a vegetarian restaurant that said she new me

But I've never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramzee24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call appetizers at a cannibal restaurant?

Finger Food

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Spilled my side dish on me at a restaurant today.

I never slaw it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnixyZ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
When you finish eating at an Australian restaurant
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Eating at a mexican restaurant a man asked, β€œWhat are you eating?”

I told him it’s β€œnacho business”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjmf_04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mathematician order at the Spanish restaurant?

A Ο€-ella

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_iluvpizzas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A man orders soup at a restaurant

He orders turtle soup, the waiter takes his order and starts to walk off. The main suddenly sees his favourite pea soup and calls back the waiter. The man says "Waiter im terrible sorry but would you mind holding the turtle and make it pea?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Platypus_Dundee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I was waiting for a long time at the restaurant. The waiter came and said; sorry for your wait...

I said: are you calling me fat?

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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