I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
What is grey, has four legs, howls at the moon, and eats cement?
A wolf...
I just added the cement to make it hard.
What restaurant does Jiminy Cricket love to eat at?
What do German cannibals eat at parties?
Frankfurt-ers and Hamburg-ers.
Why do the French only eat one egg at breakfast?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
What do you get when you eat a kiwi at a zoo
What happens if you eat too much ice cream at DQ?
What does a frog like to eat at McDonalds
If we're not supposed to eat at night...
Why do they put a light in a fridge?
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
Why should you always eat eggs benedict at home on Christmas?
Because there's no place like home for the hollandaise.
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
All my crabs were pissed at me after I told them I must cook and eat them...
When you eat at a diner YOU become the diner.
My son bet me he could eat 150 eggs, but he ended up puking and quitting at 144.
I only eat sweets at night
Because I love dark chocolate
At my church, every Sunday we eat apples and work on math problems.
Because God said to be fruit-full and multiply.
I met a French guy at my interpreter-training class, we were having conversation about food. And suddenly he said, I like snails.. Why don't Americans eat snails? I was thinking for a second and replied
Because... maybe they like fast food
I always eat my Kellogs at the poker table
Why don't Africans eat at the restaurant?
Because they always Ghana order Togo.
Why was 6 afraid of 7, because 789. Why did 7 eat nine? Because at the restaurant 7 was at, 9 came in that order.
I had a guy come up to me at the store the other day as I was browsing the candy section and proclaimed "I refuse to eat Werther's originals!" Confused, I asked "Why's that?"
Every day at the end of rehearsal, my director friend takes out a sandwich to eat.
He then points at it, and says, ‘That’s a wrap, everybody.”
Hey! Toucan eat here at once
I was at the doctor's yesterday. He said, "You are very overweight, so don’t eat anything fatty."
I asked, "You mean like bacon, sausage and chocolate ?"
He answered, "No fatty. Don't eat anything!"
I bought some ready to eat dinner at the store today, and when I got home, I was ready to eat dinner.
You really are what you eat.
A vegan and a carnivore eat at the same table but don't argue.
Because they don't have beef for each other.
Credits: My 5 year old nephew.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
What do you call it when you eat at a mall and you're satisfied by your meal?
Why did Sherlock Holmes eat at a Mexican Restaurant?
He wanted a good case idea
At that Vatican they only eat Swiss cheese.
It’s clearly the holiest!
Why didn’t the scientist eat at the planetarium cafe?
There was an astronomically long line!
What’s the best food to eat at the library?
I asked my son what he wanted to eat at the NBA all star game
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What did the duck eat at the ballpark ?
Sitting at the dinner table, (kid) can dogs eat corn? (Wife) No because they will turn into corn dogs (dad) that was corny
I can't wait until we're all gathered around the table and as we're about to eat, I'll ask my family as I do each and every year, "What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?"
And as the groans begin, I'll screech, "The letter G!"
What kind of restaurant does Jimi Hendrix eat at?
what does an Austrian eat at Mcdonalds?
I going to eat one pear at a time.
What kind of eggs do Canadians like to eat at the end of the week?
I always eat lunch at Target....
My friend sliced up an apple to eat and quickly hung the scraps on the wall. I looked at him like he was crazy.
He said, "What?! It's Decor!"
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
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