It would suck not being able to eat bread :')
What does pizza become after you eat it?
(9 year old daughter tells me) What does a Dalmatian say after it eats dinner?
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
Why is it ok to eat McDonald's during Ramadan?
How does a computer eats it supper
Went to a new local grocery store called mommas and pappas. I bought a head of lettuce but just couldn't eat it...
Because all the leaves are brown.
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
What do you call it when a candle eats another candle?
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
Cats in Communist countries are forced to eat the same thing every day and it affects their health!
Now they all have Mousey Tongue.
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
My wife was commenting on one of our cats and its big belly. I said, "I don't get it. She eats protein all day...
...she's on Catkins."
(one of these days my wife's eyes are gonna get stuck in the eye-rolling position)
Remember the good old days, when we used to eat cake, after someone blew all over it ?
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods
But its harder to deter gents
When I order Indian food I get to eat all of it myself.
No one else ever wants naan.
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
I went to an "all-you-can-eat" buffet, but it was rubbish.
There was plenty of stuff that I can eat which wasn't there.
What is hungry, but it can't eat?
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
This food I made, will they eat it?
My daughter thinks it’s weird that I eat a bowl of corn flakes every single day for breakfast
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
My downstairs neighbor complains that whenever I eat Doritos on my porch, it gets all over him on his patio. As usual, he's exaggerating.
He just has a chip on his shoulder.
I love molasses, but I can’t eat it.
I can’t stop thinking about all those poor little moles.
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
Why is it wasteful to eat a clock?
Because it's time consuming.....
What does a cat like to eat on its birthday?
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.
I said “Son, that’s ricest!”
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,
Whenever I eat burnt toast it makes me feel sick.
I guess I’m just black toast intolerant.
If you get a message from the government warning not to eat tinned meat because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it.
How does a crab feel when it eats too much?
What do you call it when you only eat apple everyday?
I don’t think it’s wise to “eat the rich.”
They’re all spoiled rotten.
Beelieve me or not there is a small ball of pollen in the beehind legs of the bees and they also have the abeelity to eat it
It's not very often I eat carpaccio or tartare.
In fact, I'd say it's extremely rare
What do you call it when lightning McQueen eats a car?
You can’t have your steak and eat it...
How did the computer eat its supper?
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
What is it called when a candle eats another candle?
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
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