Six feet pun-der... [x-post from r/funny]
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︎ Jan 05 2018
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet
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︎ Jun 07 2021
I have 6 hands, 12 feet and 3 heads. What am I?
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︎ Jun 07 2021
How do you measure a snake? In inches, because they donβt have feet.
But you measure rattlesnakes in meters, because they have rhythm.
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︎ May 29 2021
A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.
Heβs an extremely aggressive janitor.
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I lost the tips of my feet in an accident, and later when I told my friend what happened he suddenly punched me.
Turns out heβs lack-toes intolerant
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︎ May 30 2021
What do snoop doggs feet invest in?
Crip-toe.
I'll see myself out.
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︎ Jun 06 2021
Iβve noticed lately that my feet donβt smell very good.
So Iβve started using my nose instead.
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︎ May 27 2021
A man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks...
"Do you sell flip flips ?"
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︎ May 23 2021
So you know Gandhi? Walked barefoot, tough feet. Fasted a lot, so he was weak. Prayed a lot, real spiritual. Unfortunately, suffered from bad breath.
In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off
Then you will de-feet him
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︎ Apr 08 2021
My kid asked me if it's true that some species of Whale can grow up to 100 feet?
I said it's when they're really tired after swimming too long, they can use them to walk home instead.
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︎ May 10 2021
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
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︎ Dec 30 2020
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︎ May 29 2021
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Does your nose run? Do your feet smell?
You must be built upside down
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︎ May 12 2021
A kid told me that I looked like I was 6 feet tall
Itβs the highest compliment Iβve ever received!
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︎ May 12 2021
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
You know what they say about guys with big feet
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︎ May 11 2021
I saw a rock that was 5280 feet long
It was quite the milestone
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︎ Feb 16 2021
What did the feet say to the floor?
I can't stand you anymore!
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︎ May 05 2021
Some giraffe's can grow up to 18 feet.
But most only have four.
Taken from Giraffe Jokes
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︎ Apr 23 2021
A woman with two left feet walks into a shoe store
She asks the manager, "excuse me, do you have any flop-flops?"
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︎ Feb 19 2021
A friend told me that his grilling spices keep biting his feet.
He can't get rid of those mesquite-toes..
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Today I ate a sandwich with my feet.
It was a below-knee sandwich.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Did you hear about the guy who has no feet or shins?
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I don't get how it's possible to reduce the social distancing requirement from six feet to three feet.
In almost all cases its impossible to have three feet between 2 people.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
What do you call a video of Sasquatchβs feet?
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Do you know why it's difficult to read what is on my Samsung phone's screen from 20 feet?
Because it's on a Galaxy far, far away.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
What smells like feet and tastes like fish?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Two feet of snow
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I got into a fight with my feet but...
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︎ Mar 20 2021
i write letters on my feets
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︎ Mar 18 2021
I caught my daughter taking pictures of her feet. I asked her why.
βI needed better camera footage.β
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︎ Feb 28 2021
I was cold and hungry, so I put my feet in front of the heater
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︎ Jan 29 2021
I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Why are feet so famous?
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I love the part of the bumblebee that connects its body to its feet.
Itβs the beeβs knees.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
There's a dinner lady at our factory, who's almost seven feet tall.
She's our longest serving employee.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
What's the best way to get on your feet?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Did you know that crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks....
"Do you sell flop flops?"
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
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︎ May 27 2021
A man with two left feet walks into a shoe store:
"Excuse me do you sell flip flips?"
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︎ Mar 22 2021
A man with 2 left feet walks into a shoe store and asks...
"Do you sell flip flips?"
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︎ Jan 13 2021
If your nose runs, and your feet smell
You were built upside down.
Youβre welcome.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
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︎ Mar 10 2021
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