You need protein to be in shape
I'm kind of partial to 7
It was your classic case of Squid Pro Quo.
I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
I'm a frostitute
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
He’ll come around, eventually.
The odds were not in my favor
Squid pro quo
You could say I'm a pro-grammer.
He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me
I'm.
He had the morel high ground.
It's pointless.
Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady
Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy
I told him, "That's a little course"
Brochure
I O U
You know what they say... history favors the mold.
Pro-teen
Opposed?
Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."
I was watching Michael Collins, a movie about the Irish war of independence, when my dad walked into the room.
"Oh Michael Collins is on, when did it start?" He asked
"Around 1916" I responded
He groaned and then walked out of the room. After many years I have finally gotten him back. This is a pretty big moment for me guys.
She wanted my help because she "...needs air in my tires and I suck." I told her that was her problem, that she should probably blow air into her tires instead!! No reaction from her...
The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but you're a rope. I can't serve you, and I'm not even sure how I could. Please leave."
A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, "Look, I told you I can't serve you. Just go away."
A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.
The bartender is getting mad now. "Look, I told you twice that I can't serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!"
Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.
"Excuse me", says the rope, "but could you do me a favor?"
"Um... me?" says the puzzled gentleman. "Uh... I guess so..."
"Great! I just need you to tie a big ol' knot right in my middle."
"Well," says the gentleman. "I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go," and ties a perfect knot in the rope. "Will that be all?"
The rope pauses for a second and says, "Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?"
The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.
Furious, the bartender shouts, "HEY! Aren't you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?"
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
A1C por favor
So, you have a terminal condition?
In class today, my professor asked for someone to "flip off the lights" so we could start the movies. I was on the other side of the room from the light-switch but I did what I could...
I flashed a particular hand gesture toward the lights.
...he still can't say "please", though, which I think is "poor for four".
Edit: "Por favor" is Spanish for please. :)
Just to take the edge off
It’s a naan issue.
Before they'd tell me their secret recipes, I had to sign a Naan-Disclosure Agreement
I guess it's just her way to curry favor.
A por favor
"Breathe you idiot!"
The odds were not in my favor
That's Por favor
