Happy Father’s Day

As a child I don’t think fathers realize how much we love and appreciate them and wanted to share it, even though this isn’t a joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myname69420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Hey sweetie I want a new knife for fathers day. I'd use this one..

But it just wont cut it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saosin713
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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One day, a father was washing a car with his son...

The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Figured this was the ideal moment to repost this ol’ pun. Happy Father’s Day.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renoraid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.

I guess I'm just a faux pas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Elvis_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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My son asked me, "How come there is a Father's Day, but not a Son Day?"

I replied, "Hey, there is a Son Day every week!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirajyawalkar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Dad: Hey, don’t forgetβ€” tomorrow is Father’s Day.

Me: Don’t forget its son day too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Just a reminder, Father’s Day is Sunday.

Not this Sunday, but it is on a Sunday this year!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...

... Totally in my Element.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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21st June 2020 lies on Sunday, which is also Father's Day, but since we have Solar Eclipse on that day, it's actually Sun-day.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aradhya23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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What do you get when you cross Father's Day with Cake day?

Extra Karma... I hope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phmundacheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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On Father's Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.

He said it was his pleasure.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...

...from the fruits of our labor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronHusker88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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My son on Father's Day says...

"You know, if they had a bunch of different fruits from around the universe and made it into a jam they would call it a Space Jam."

I'm so damn proud of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackrabbits1im
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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(In honor of Father's Day) At the start of every day my Dad tells us he's going running, and then he doesn't.

It's a running joke.

Happy Father's Day to all Dads that make us laugh with their ridiculous jokes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Happy Father’s Day!

To all the dads out there; may your dad jokes grow prosper, make your children facepalm, and cause your partner want to pull your hair out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AzurEdge3290
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Father’s Day

When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, β€œDon’t choke on your ambitions.”

My son looked at my and said, β€œHa Ha! Dad joke!”

So proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What's the problem with Father's day?

It always falls on Son-day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kipul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Happy Father’s Day to all you dad jokers

A horse walks into a bar, bartender says to the horse β€œwhat’s with the long face”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dieselgains1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Happy Father's Day applies to all humans and animals as well. But apparently it doesn't matter to elephants.

For them, it's irrelephant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdaddydlg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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In what country do they wake all the dads early on Father’s Day?

Papa No Grinny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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In honor of my father for Father’s Day, I’m going to tack you back to the 1990’s. This is rural southern America please read in southern accent.

Me: Daddy I’m thirsty!

My dad: Hi thirsty I’m Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.

I’m sure it’s not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kayl6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I just called my grandpa for Fathers Day. He told me this silly Corona Virus joke.

Grandpa: Are you being safe with this Corona Virus issue?

Me: of coarse!

Grandpa: Very good, make sure you always have a mask on outside and carry a bunch of sand with you!

Me: I always have a mask on but why do I need sand?

Grandpa: You didn't hear about the sand? Its very effective! Wherever you suspect the virus is hiding, you grab a handful of sand and throw the sand at it to stone the virus to death!

I love my grandpa lol made me laugh

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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If you think your father's day present sucked

Wait till to hear what Matt Gaetz got!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FredwasaGoodDog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Father’s Day

It seems to have been a really long day this year

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darthbuttchin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ

Make 'em eat Pop-Corn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwinsome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Mother’s and Father’s day only happens once every year

But Son day happens once every week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EarlBoiBlue
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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For father's day breakfast, my daughter promised she'd make pancakes. Then she said she wouldn't. Then she said she would. Then she said she wouldn't.

Now she's just waffling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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Today I wished my dad a Happy Father’s Day.

His response: β€œThanks son. I couldn’t have done it without you!”

Happy Father’s Day!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriendzonePhill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk. "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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My father had this incredible catch phrase that left me and my brothers speechless for hours every day

The phrase was: "good night"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorettooooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Only once a year there's Mother's Day and Father's Day, ...

... but every week there's a sunday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Happy Father’s Day, mother f**kers!
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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My father shaved his head the other day because of his receding hairline

Pretty bald move if you ask me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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No joke I just miss my dad. Happy fathers day in heaven dad dad daddy-o
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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It’s Fathers Day in Finland! Does that mean I get to make unlimited dadjokes until midnight?

...when it’s officially Finnished?

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Day 28 of being a father. Am I considered a dad now?

Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?

Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.

Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tebaseball1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2016
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You may think the best gifts are given on Mother's Day, but Father's Day is usually a tie.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Picker-Rick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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I got Dad joked for Father’s Day.

To start, I’m a pretty big dude and sweat easily. At home, I have a big tower fan aimed at me 24/7. My wife hates the fan and it’s often a topic of β€œdiscussion”.

This morning, my wife gave me the heads up that my 7 yo son’s card was all his idea.

The card he made had a very detailed drawing of my tower fan on the front. I looked at it confusedly and opened it up to read:

β€œDad, you are FANtastic!”

Best Father’s Day ever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthRusty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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Father Day

It funny that Father day is actually on Sunday (Sonday). Happy Father day everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dynamic-technist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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A Father's Day card your dad will truly appreciate

http://imgur.com/a/LENyj

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strockypoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2016
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How did Vader know what Luke got him for father's day?

He could feel his presents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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My dad said he wanted a new pair of wire strippers for Father’s Day.

When I asked what happened to the old ones he said β€œ they decided it was time to go to wire college”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/milfhunter6969-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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To everyone who wished a Happy Father’s Day to β€œthe best dad in the world...”

I’m very flattered, but make sure you wish your own dad a happy Father’s Day too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SyckTycket
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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β€œLook! A man wearing a dress!” – Father’s Day story

When I was about 5 years old, my dad told the greatest dad joke. He’d be driving the family through our neighborhood and would say β€œLook! A man wearing a dress!” My siblings and I would look around and laugh with my dad. We loved when he would say this (it was like an absurd scavenger hunt) but my mother absolutely hated it. β€œWhere? What are you talking about Tom?!” She actually got angry since she couldn’t see the man wearing a dress either. Since he would do this on a semi-regular basis to make us laugh, it became a problem with my mom and she ended up getting so angry as to forbid him saying it ever again.

I never really understood what was going on since I was so young, but I really missed the man wearing a dress joke. At one point, I thought the joke referenced a nearby business with a kilted man for a mascot. A few years ago, I asked my dad what the joke was.

β€œOh! It wasn’t the sign,” he told me. β€œWe had a family in the neighborhood with the last name β€˜Manwaring’. When we would drive by their house, I’d point at their mailbox and say β€˜Look, a Manwaring address!’”

I was too young to read at the time so it took 20 years to be in on his brilliant pun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simserialkiller
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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Unlike Fathers day, Son day is celebrated every week
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Dad: Hey, remember tomorrow is Father’s Day!

Me: Yeah, but it’s son day as well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Happy Father's Day all you mother f**kers out there!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tenyouken17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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