Farts Puns

A list of puns related to "Farts"

Classic dad fart pun

Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?

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👤︎ u/Kneecko
📅︎ Nov 11 2013
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Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?

Because it'll blow his cover

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👤︎ u/p_tally
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
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An elderly couple is in a church. The wife says to the husband “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”

The husband says “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”

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👤︎ u/AstroCatonaut
📅︎ Jun 04 2021
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Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...

They say it’s a blast from the past!

*credit to my 9 year old daughter

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👤︎ u/Milmer0408
📅︎ Mar 23 2021
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Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?

He was a private tutor.

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👤︎ u/tckoppang
📅︎ May 15 2021
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Did you know if you and your buddy fart at the same time it makes you Egyptian?

Because you have a Tutankhamun.

Note:I thought of this today I really hope the joke lands.

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👤︎ u/TLEToyu
📅︎ Mar 12 2021
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What do Beyblades and farts have in common?

You let it rip!

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👤︎ u/Dazdago
📅︎ May 17 2021
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An ancient Egyptian king and his subjects had nearly the same farts...

They had a toot-in-common

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👤︎ u/CryptoReaper5
📅︎ Jun 07 2021
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My Dad explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration

I was blown away by his transparency

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👤︎ u/iheartjimothy
📅︎ Jun 04 2021
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Is it the tar that smells like farts?

No, it was your asphalt

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👤︎ u/uhhokanything
📅︎ Jun 01 2021
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How is a Egypt similar to a fart?

They both have a toot-in-common.

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👤︎ u/maybejustadragon
📅︎ May 08 2021
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Why does no one react when the Queen farts?

Because it’s a Noble Gas!

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👤︎ u/Farty-McMarty
📅︎ Apr 19 2021
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If a clown farts...

....does it smell funny ?

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ May 16 2021
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What do you call a caveman's fart?

A blast from the past

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👤︎ u/p_tally
📅︎ May 02 2021
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I told my son farts are sharp

They can cut the cheese

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👤︎ u/Ragin_Legend
📅︎ May 01 2021
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What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas Money

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👤︎ u/airhogg
📅︎ Mar 24 2021
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In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts
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👤︎ u/Dark_Leome
📅︎ Mar 18 2021
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If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 10 2021
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What do you call it when a random person farts on a bunch of strangers?

A Mass Tooting

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👤︎ u/Echos_myron123
📅︎ Mar 23 2021
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My fart just wiped out half of new York.

It was a weapon of ass destruction

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👤︎ u/Electronic-Stable123
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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Why do farts stink?

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

Oldies are sometimes goodies. This one was on the radio this morning. Never head it before but thought you might enjoy it.

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👤︎ u/physco219
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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Never fart in an apple store

They don't have windows

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👤︎ u/bijkeh
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
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*farts*

Call me Vladimir cuz i be Pootin

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👤︎ u/kingxtc
📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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What happens to someone who farts in church?

They have to sit in their own pew.

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👤︎ u/DarthLukas71
📅︎ Mar 09 2021
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How do you call it when you start crying after you fart

Teargas

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👤︎ u/DutchBlob
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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Where do cows farts come from ?

From the dairy air.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?

It’s wrong on so many levels.

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👤︎ u/static612
📅︎ Mar 21 2021
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I like telling fart jokes.

They are tough to hold in.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Jan 31 2021
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I will never engage in fart humor

It is fully beneath me

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👤︎ u/ethanholmes2001
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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A book my son is reading. Nothing but fart jokes/puns
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👤︎ u/epona14
📅︎ Nov 11 2020
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Love is like a fart

If you have to force it, it’s probably just gonna be crappy anyways

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👤︎ u/SamtheLamb35
📅︎ Feb 15 2021
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Hookers don't fart.

They let out little prosti-toots!

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👤︎ u/Jamster_1988
📅︎ Feb 15 2021
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

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👤︎ u/gone11gone11
📅︎ May 06 2020
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Back in my day, we used to cough to cover up a fart.

But nowadays, with Covid, you fart to cover up a cough.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 14 2021
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We used to cough to hide our farts..

These days we fart to hide the coughs

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👤︎ u/sterovebertz
📅︎ Feb 15 2021
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My farts don’t smell

They don’t have noses.

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👤︎ u/fwvj
📅︎ Feb 02 2021
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What do you call two farts that sound alike?

Tutankhamun

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👤︎ u/Jamesstylez83
📅︎ Jan 13 2021
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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?

Because, it would blow his cover.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Mar 24 2021
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Why do farts smell??

So deaf people can enjoy them to.

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👤︎ u/-justsaying_
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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What do you call a caveman's fart?

A blast from the past

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👤︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
📅︎ Mar 19 2021
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Where do cow farts come from?

The dairy air

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👤︎ u/18021982
📅︎ Feb 21 2021
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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed?

Because it would blow his cover

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👤︎ u/oneplusoneisfive
📅︎ Feb 02 2021
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Where do Cow farts come from?

The dairy-air

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👤︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
📅︎ Feb 11 2021
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Cow farts come from

the dairy air

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👤︎ u/Zwickz26
📅︎ Nov 07 2020
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Why did the teacher never fart in public?

He was a private tutor.

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👤︎ u/BinBender
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why should you not fart in Apple store?

Because there are no windows.

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👤︎ u/chihiro_yoru
📅︎ Jan 21 2021
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All farts...

...are laughing gas.

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👤︎ u/arc-ion
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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You shouldn't fart in an Apple store,

They don't have Windows...

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👤︎ u/Tanner_Banner
📅︎ Feb 26 2020
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I used to cough to hide my farts

Now I fart to hide my coughs

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👤︎ u/Big_Cojones_Moves
📅︎ Feb 05 2021
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