because they lighten me up
“ well, give it back !”
That witch took everything of mine
My dad still has his.
A laughing stock!!!!
Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
« What is the best death according to you ?
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I think the best way to go is to die like my grandfather... he fell asleep and never woke up.
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Dying in your sleep is indeed said to be the best way to go. So what do you consider the worst way to die ?
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Like my grandfather’s friends.
-Why ? How did they die ?
-They were in the car when Grandpa fell asleep. »
I would've complained, but it seemed like more of a fecal matter.
They're invisible
Otherwise, it would be even.
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
I couldn't get a single laugh from the guys in the other urinal stalls.
...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.
It’s no laughing matter.
Never gets old.
Dad jokes
They take things so literally.
A: inside jokes.
This happened today.
I'm at park/playground with my kid. He's playing, I'm throwing a ball for my dog.
Three little girls, maybe around 10 years old, run up. "Can we pet your dog?"
Me, "Sure, would you like to throw the ball for her?"
One of the girls takes the thrower and chucks the ball. It goes a long way.
Me: "Wow, great throw!"
Girl: "I've got my dad's arms."
Me (already laughing on the inside): "Really? What does he use?"
They stare at me.
Sigh.
So my mom, my oldest sister, and her daughter where at mine and my wife’s house for the weekend.
After having all the lights out so my wife and niece could play with a Ouija board, my niece wanted to make a cup of hot cocoa in the kitchen but she could find the light switch. The following exchange occurred...
Niece: Where is the light in the kitchen? Me: On the ceiling. Niece: Ok, but how do you turn it on? Me: With a light switch. Niece: Where is the light switch? Me: On the wall. Niece: Which wall? Me: The one with the switch.
She’s a good sport tho. We where laughing, she was grinning but definitely done with my uncle shit.
None, humor can’t be metallic. What, were you expecting ‘irony’?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Not Sally...
