Laughing stock.
I only laugh at dead people
“ well, give it back !”
That witch took everything of mine
My dad still has his.
They're invisible
Otherwise, it would be even.
Separated at mirth
Something is awry.
Not a laughing matter.
This is no laughing matter.
Fun guy
That makes sense, because I tell my jokes exclusively on land.
I work part time in the produce department at a grocery store. Last night while I was at work a customer came up to me and asked, "do you have any more thyme?" So of course I replied with, "well I hope so, I'm only 19" and then laughed to myself for a while. I looked back up and she was just staring at me kind of angrily, so I told her we were all out and she left. Some people need to learn to appreciate comedy
So I can say to them
“YOU GIVE THAT BACK!”
One
They always say: “Joke me, daddy”.
I'm really worried about stray fireworks this week.
Sarcaustic
We were sorting clothes out of the dryer and I noticed that I was missing a sock (sneaky bugger). I told my dad this and he turns to me and says: "Man, that really socks." The Daddest Dad joke in history...
Because most people come up with jokes in the shower.
You could say I will be a great feather to my son
Made an account just to share this. My dad is paraplegic--he broke his neck at a college wrestling tournament when he was 19. There's a story my mom always tells about him that just sums up how he can be so lighthearted even in the darkest of circumstances.
During his long stay at the hospital immediately after his injury, a nurse checks in on him, making sure his condition hasn't gotten any worse.
She asks, "Can you hear okay?"
He says, totally deadpan, "No, I can see fine."
Even then, lying in a hospital bed after a life-altering injury, my dad couldn't give up an opportunity to make someone laugh.
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Yes. Would you like it back?"
Her: Dad, what rhymes with heroic.
Me: No, it doesn't.
She was not amused!
"Hey son how was class." "Pretty interesting, talked a lot about rape and the various kinds." "Sounds like a very penetrating subject." "God dammit dad."
She said we should go to the corner to warm up—it's 90 degrees!
Sister: Sometimes I make jokes that only you would appreciate to the full extent
Me: Same.
Sister: This car came pulling out of a place real fast before stopping and the guys driving kind of looked like POTC Orlando Bloom. So naturally he [her boyfriend] said "Woah, Orlando bloom" and I said "Yeah you better calm down before you Orlando yourself in a bad spot"
While carrying a friend's mirror today:
Me: "Is this mirror possessed?"
Friend: "Huh?"
Me: "There's a handsome devil in it!"
My dad pouring peppermint schnapps into my hot chocolate.
Dad: "Say when"
Me: "That's enough thanks, you can schnapp."
My mom was telling a story about how she was kicking butt at work - as usual. Something about business politics and getting one over on some blockheads trying to undermine her. Dad speaks up, laughing.
"I can just envision them sitting there - crossing their eyes -"
I had to speak up.
"And dotting their t's?"
He couldn't stop laughing.
Mom was talking about her friend who's up in Canada taking care of her mom with Esophageal cancer.
Dad: Wow, I bet that diagnosis was hard to swallow!
Dad: The Islamic State could really improve its image if they recruited more from Italy.
Me: Why's that?
Dad: 'Cause everyone likes Italian ices.
...but personally I think it's really Gouda
(Helps to read with Canadian accent)
A laughing stock!!!!
