What do you call a teacher that would never break wind in public?

A private tutor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I don't seem to have the enthusiasm to break wind like I used to

In fact, the last few were very half-farted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xAnxietyPrimex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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What’s the difference between Albert Einstein and a guy that breaks wind inside a lift?

Einstein is a smart fella and the guy is.........

a fart smella.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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What happens when Thor breaks wind

There’s thunder down under

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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BREAKING: Wind smells funny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/countryboyathome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I know that we've promised you a car, but we know what you really want."

He leads him outside, to a brand new tractor with a bow on it, saying that this is his welcome to adulthood.

Tom is beyond excited, and spends the next few months going everywhere in his tractor - grocery trips, bars, classes, friends' houses.....

Again, a few years later, Tom is driving down a back country road, in the middle of nowhere, with his tractor, in the middle of a storm. The tractor breaks down, and with no air conditioning or any form of modern comforts, Tom is in a miserable mood until someone finally comes past for him to flag down for help. After this, Tom realises that although tractors are fun, maybe they're not the best transport method out there.

Tom ages through a few more years, and finds himself driving down another road in the middle of nowhere in his car, and sees a house on fire just off the road. Being a good samaritan, he pulls over and heads up the driveway to a woman running out of the house screaming "Please, help, help! My baby is trapped in there! Go and call 911, please!"

Tom turns around, then, before leaving, has a brainwave.

He turns back and walks towards the flames, saying "Don't worry, ma'am, I've got this."

He takes a deep breath in, and the fire disappears into nothingness. As you'd expect, the woman is in awe, and asks, "Oh my God, how did you do that?!"

Tom simply responds, "Well you see ma'am, I'm an extractor fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I've always loved Calvin's dad.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dropping_fruits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
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Rip 2017

2017 - 2017

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justinb535
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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No matter how much I wash my windbreaker, it smells terrible.

It just keeps breaking wind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeaTwertle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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They're pretty smelly too.

Scene: Before practice with my band, my drummer and I occasionally sit on the balcony and smoke a cigarette. It's extremely windy and we began to talk about our jackets.

Me: This is why I love my jacket. It keeps me incredibly warm

Drummer: Does it break wind?

Me: Yeah, it's really embarrassing when it decides to fart in public.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSascrotch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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