Last night when exiting Disney, I asked my group if anyone remembered where we parked.
My son: βthe parking lotβ
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︎ Mar 10 2021
I was exiting my vehicle and the dashboard told me βdoor ajarβ
Still have yet to successfully store my jam there
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︎ Sep 26 2020
I got scolded for exiting my house carrying a coffer with a ursine emblem on it
Apparently it's not OK to walk around in public with a bear chest...
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︎ Apr 15 2019
Upon exiting the elevator I noticed that I had just used Schindler's Lift
imgur.com/TpSKLN4
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︎ May 23 2014
What do you call it when you accidentally miss the exit for your camp ground?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
What does it say on the exit door to the sperm bank?
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︎ Feb 05 2021
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Hey dad, can we stop at the casino at the next exit?
Dad: Sure, why?
Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Custom made Exit signs are all the rage nowadays in my town.
But I think they are on the way out.
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︎ Jul 13 2020
What does the sign say at the exit of the sperm bank?
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︎ Apr 07 2020
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.
I said: "There's the door."
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︎ Jan 04 2020
Aah the outdoors.
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Why do partcles get exited when we heat something up?
Because it's volume increases
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︎ Apr 04 2020
My friend didn't want to exit the EU, so now he stays home making wigs for horses..
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︎ Apr 11 2020
What do you call a dramatic exit at a tea party?
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︎ Mar 07 2020
What do you call a beehive with no exit?
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︎ Jun 14 2019
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︎ Aug 16 2019
so youre american when you enter and exit a bathroom, so what are you while youre in the bathroom?
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︎ Oct 04 2019
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.
Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.
When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.
Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
If you're American when you enter the toilet, and American when you exit the toilet, what are you while you're inside the toilet?
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︎ May 27 2019
We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. I proudly proclaimed βUrine luck! There are plenty of places to go at this exit!β Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife.
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︎ Jan 02 2019
The store manager asked me if I could move the Kia that was blocking the exit.
I said that I could, but thatβs not my Forte.
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︎ Oct 21 2018
What did the exited gardener do when spring finally came...
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︎ Jun 27 2019
After one hour of searching I finally found an exit out of the room
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︎ Jun 14 2019
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked: βWhat else could the management provide β that might have prevented you from leaving?β
I wrote βBirth control.β
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︎ Oct 30 2018
There's a decline in exit sign use.
Experts are saying they are on the way out.
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︎ Feb 23 2019
This morning I climbed up to the beehive in my yard and used putty to block the exit.
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︎ May 24 2019
Scientists found out..
right after somebody showed them the exit.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
The King exited the toilet triumphantly...
...proclaiming he had a royal flush
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︎ Dec 17 2018
My workplace won an award for "Most Polite Exit Signs".
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︎ Jun 30 2018
All of the doors in a fire station are fire exits.
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︎ Apr 03 2018
If you make dad jokes, what language do you speak?
Pun-Jabi
proceeds to the nearest exit
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Have you ever heard of a reverse exorcism?
Itβs when the devil tells a priest to exit the childβs body.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
What do you call a group of fathers making a quick exit?
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︎ Apr 03 2018
My friends "Cactie"...
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︎ Jan 25 2019
Pirates make me irate
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︎ Nov 29 2019
I exited the highway in search of some sausage.
Things took a turn for the wurst.
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︎ Jan 19 2017
What do you call a subreddit exclusively for the letter Q?
A Q-mmunity.
I see the exit door.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
What do horses in adjacent boxes call each other?
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︎ Apr 14 2020
My friend got mad at me yesterday and I don't know why. He had just picked up a sewing machine and was telling me how exited he was to start sewing, so naturally I asked:
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︎ Jun 12 2017
I was pondering some of the practical arts that are dying out like silversmithing and coppersmithing.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Novelty exit signs are quite a rage in my town these days.
But I think they are on the way out.
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︎ Jul 02 2020
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances....
I said "There's the door"
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︎ Jan 04 2020
What do you call a beehive with no exit?
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︎ May 14 2019
Exit signs.
Theyβre on their way out.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
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