My first gig out of school was directing a TV ad for tampons.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn’t hard work, after all, it was child’s play.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
I'm directing a cowboy film called "The Sun"...
Dad asked who was directing the new Tolkien movie...
I pulled out my phone and went to IMDB.
Me: He’s a... I think Finnish director, Dome Karukoski.
Dad: Well then who’s the start director?
Me:... the what?
Dad: If he’s the Finnish director, who’s the start director?
The turn of my head and hate in my eyes made him chuckle for five minutes.
Dad: That was priceless. 👏👏👏
I was directing a film the other day, and there was a lot of confusion as to who was handling all the costumes.
Basically set decoration, we had a small crew. A lot of the actors and the rest of the crew were confused who was in charge of those items. Luckily, Jason was a reliable, honest guy. In fact, he was one of the most honest, dependable people I knew on set.
So that evening before we had dinner together, I called Jason to the center, and thanked him for the quality of work that he'd put out so far, and I said "Props to Jason."
My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
As a patriot, I have decided to buy my next Honda directly from Japan and pay the necessary tariffs.
It will...be my Civic duty.
My wife said I have no sense of direction
I was like where did that come from.
My wife and I had a 2 hour argument last night because I "have no sense of direction"
So I packed all my stuff and right.
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.
My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.
Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?
She wanted the task manager
Directions for climbing a ladder
Step one
Step two
Step three
Etc.
Did you hear about the new dark and gritty direction Disney are taking?
Donald Duck will be playing a quack addict.
Which direction do Chickens like to run?
A blind man walks into a bar
And then a table...
And then a chair...
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
I once stopped and asked a Mandalorian for directions....
He pointed at the map and said, “This is the way.”
What do you get when an alternating current and a direct current run into each other in a wire?
They just don’t taste right!
I overcame my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers directly out of the fridge.
I didn't use the 12 steps, I quit cold turkey.
Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
What do you call a direct uprising of cows?
Mt oldest is getting to be pretty good at using my own jokes against me when I'm not expecting.
Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)
Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.
Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?
Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??
Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!
I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.
Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.
No sense of direction...
My wife often says I have no sense of direction. So I left because she wasn't treating me right.
What do you call it when a ball going in one direction starts going in the opposite direction?
What happens to Nitrogen when you put it in direct sunlight?
A good sense of direction will get you places
My wife was angry that I had a bad sense of direction
so I packed up my things and right
My wife is really upset that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife said I had no sense of direction.
So I asked her, "Where did that come from?"
My wife is really angry that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife was fed up with my poor sense of direction.
So I packed up and right.
While I was driving, my wife said, “You have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
My wife’s really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I got really upset when my wife told me that I had no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right
I had a fight with my wife the other day about my terrible sense of direction.
I just packed my bags and right.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
So I packed up my stuff and right!
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...
...so I packed up and right!
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife told me I have a bad sense of direction.
I packed up my things and right!
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."
"So I packed up my stuff and right!"
For my next car, I’m going to buy a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
My wife is really mad at the fact i have no sence of direction,
So i packed up my stuff and right
My wife is really angry because I have no sense of direction
So I just packed up my things and right
My wife absolutely hated the fact that I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I have decided to buy a new Honda directly from Japan and pay all the tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
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