What do you get when an alternating current and a direct current run into each other in a wire?
What do you call a direct uprising of cows?
What happens to Nitrogen when you put it in direct sunlight?
I have a direct line to my grandma
It’s weird how direct sunlight heats up my car while the air outside is well below freezing.
The sun must be some kind of space heater.
There's a fine line between alternating current and direct current...
Me: Can you direct me to a seat, Please
What do you call a vegetable that helps direct a film?
X-post from r/funny...dad protesting water prices (direct thread link to avoid karma farming)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/4acp4c/when_dad_protests_water_prices/
I think I know how Marvel is choosing who gets to direct their movies
The Amazing Spider-man was directed by a guy named named Webb.
For The Wolverine, they hired a guy named Mangled (Mangold)
And Guardians of the Galaxy was made by guy named Gunn.
So I am expecting them to announce that Kat Dennings will be directing Black Panther any day now.
Setting up a direct debit...
Happened earlier today, Mom was on the phone trying to set up the direct debit payment with the phone provider.
Dad: "How's it going?"
Mom: "He (call centre employee) says he's going to send me a mandate to fill in"
Dad: "That's fine, but you're definitely not going on any mandate!"
Mother was not amused... I was...
My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
As a patriot, I have decided to buy my next Honda directly from Japan and pay the necessary tariffs.
It will...be my Civic duty.
My wife said I have no sense of direction
I was like where did that come from.
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.
My wife and I had a 2 hour argument last night because I "have no sense of direction"
So I packed all my stuff and right.
If Owen Wilson directed a thriller movie, what would it be called?
My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.
Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?
She wanted the task manager
Directions for climbing a ladder
Step one
Step two
Step three
Etc.
Did you hear about the new dark and gritty direction Disney are taking?
Donald Duck will be playing a quack addict.
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
Which direction do Chickens like to run?
A blind man walks into a bar
And then a table...
And then a chair...
I once stopped and asked a Mandalorian for directions....
He pointed at the map and said, “This is the way.”
They just don’t taste right!
I overcame my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers directly out of the fridge.
I didn't use the 12 steps, I quit cold turkey.
My first gig out of school was directing a TV ad for tampons.
Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
No sense of direction...
My wife often says I have no sense of direction. So I left because she wasn't treating me right.
What do you call it when a ball going in one direction starts going in the opposite direction?
A good sense of direction will get you places
Mt oldest is getting to be pretty good at using my own jokes against me when I'm not expecting.
Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)
Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.
Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?
Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??
Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!
I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.
Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.
My wife was angry that I had a bad sense of direction
so I packed up my things and right
My wife is really upset that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife said I had no sense of direction.
So I asked her, "Where did that come from?"
My wife is really angry that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife was fed up with my poor sense of direction.
So I packed up and right.
While I was driving, my wife said, “You have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right
My wife’s really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I got really upset when my wife told me that I had no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
So I packed up my stuff and right!
I had a fight with my wife the other day about my terrible sense of direction.
I just packed my bags and right.
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...
...so I packed up and right!
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife told me I have a bad sense of direction.
I packed up my things and right!
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."
"So I packed up my stuff and right!"
My wife is really mad at the fact i have no sence of direction,
So i packed up my stuff and right
For my next car, I’m going to buy a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
My wife is really angry because I have no sense of direction
So I just packed up my things and right
My wife absolutely hated the fact that I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I have decided to buy a new Honda directly from Japan and pay all the tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
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