What did the movie director say before shooting a dangerous stunt scene?
Itβs a take Iβm willing to risk.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
Director!
My friend was promoted to a Director the other day. I congratulated him and asked if it felt more like Spielberg or Fury. I said Fury is the one Iβd pick.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
Did you know the film βSpeedβ had no director?
If it had direction, it would be called βVelocityβ.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
Which movie director used to be a lumberjack?
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 19 2021
A funeral director friend of mine bought a brand new Cadillac hearse.
People are dying to take a ride in it.
(As told by my friend the funeral director?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
What did the film director say when she was asked what was on her plate?
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Which movie director like to work in 3D?
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 25 2021
What do microwave dinners and disappointed movie directors have in common?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
What's your favourite blue spiky master film director?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
What do you call a coffee shop that used to be funeral directors?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?
All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 21 2021
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
What's the difference between an actor and a director?
One gets in real trouble, the other in reel trouble.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
What do funeral directors eat for breakfast?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
What does the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases say when he stubs his toe?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
If I was the director of admissions at Hogwarts...
I would walk into every room while giving tours with my arms outstretched, head tilted slightly upwards, eyes shining, just admiring the beauty of the space and then spin around slowly and proudly state, "And this? THIS is where the magic happens!"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
What did the director of the stage production of Cinderella say, after the lead called out sick before opening night?
Get the understudy, the shoe, must go on!
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 13 2020
What do you call a director who has covid
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
Who did the band director date?
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 23 2020
The director told me to follow the pencil with my eyes.
Honestly, I couldnβt see the point.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
A friend of mine has just got a job as a director at Macdonalds farm.
π︎ 352
π
︎ Oct 24 2019
I want to write a screenplay about a Hollywood director who camps out in the wilderness until the pandemic passes.
His name is Tentinβ Quarantino.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 01 2020
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
What do you call a self isolating director
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 24 2020
After my director friend finished shooting his scene, I handed him a sandwich.
I said, βThatβs a wrap.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
I got a new job this week as the senior director of Old McDonaldβs farm...
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Sep 04 2018
My dad said my friend shouldn't become a funeral director
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
Which movie director is really taking off now during the coronavirus?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 31 2020
Martin was depressed because he could never get girls. Then Martin became a director. Now Martin scores easy.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
What do you call a director with coronavirus?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
What do you call an ex director of the KGB served with gravy and cheese curds?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
How do directors know if an actor is acting or just pretending to act?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
As a Broadway director my life's greatest accomplishment was the production about a group of kleptomaniacs.
Unfortunately, one of them stole the show.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
Every day at the end of rehearsal, my director friend takes out a sandwich to eat.
He then points at it, and says, βThatβs a wrap, everybody.β
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 16 2019
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
What did the director say to the staff when he jokingly said cut?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 02 2019
After high school Farris Bueller became one of the most controversial FBI directors in recent memory after his investigation of a sitting president
The investigation was known as the "Bueller Report"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 03 2019
What does the Pornhub director say to the pornstars after the shoot?
Thank you all for coming.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 11 2019
An underperforming orchestra was playing in an open field when lightning struck its musical director. Luckily, he survived.
He was quite a bad conductor
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
The NFL hired a chicken as their new director of IT.
They call him the technical fowl.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
From our Director of Pavlovian Research, Isabelle Ringin
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 07 2019
What do you call the director of the band ACDC?
A conducter of electricity.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 06 2018
Congratulations to director Domee Shee and her Pixar crew for winning Best Animated Short at the Oscars!
Well deserved. Take a Bao.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
Why does the funeral director always bring Ricolaβ’ to work with him?
It makes sense with all the coffin!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 31 2019
What did the film director say at the deli?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Just got a job as the senior director of the old McDonald farm
π︎ 125
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
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