The local newspaper just hired me as the sports editor.

My pen name is Jim Shortz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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Why do news editors love watching Happy Days?

They’re big fans of the fonts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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I don't think I'm well-suited for this job as a newspaper editor.

Even my blood is a Type O!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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Why did I want to be an editor, you ask?

Well, to cut a long story short.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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People often ask me why I became an editor.

Well, to cut a long story short....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Digitek50
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Why couldn't the amputee be an editor?

He didn't have the footage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScizorRed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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If you were the editor of Hilter's speeches...

You'd be a grammar nazi...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godricrandom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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Car commercial editors are racist as hell...

...they're always crushing the blacks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffbowman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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I finally hired a copy editor for my jokes about golf

I have been told the correct course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Why did the foot fetishist become a video editor?

Because he loves to stare at footage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsProfOak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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Did you hear Trump appointed his lead film editor today?

Yeah, his name is Sean Splicer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
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The leader of a cannibal tribe was slowly cooking a man in a pot

Cannibal Leader: "What did you do before we captured you?"

Man: "I was an editor for a newspaper"

Cannibal Leader: "Soon you will be editor-in-chief"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
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The headline on the USA Today this morning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GildedGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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My friend got a new job removing italics from reader correspondence at the local paper...

He gets to right letters to the editor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Abbott and Costello talk about Lou's new dog

(From Abbott and Costello’sΒ radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen β€” in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother β€” Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Two guys at the funny farm

Two guys at the funny farm. One guy says, β€œWe can get out of here.”

The other guy says, β€œWe can?”

He says, β€œYes.”

The other guy says, β€œHow?”

The first guy says, β€œI’ve got a big flashlight. Tonight we’ll come out to the wall, I’ll throw the light up against the wall, and you climb up the beam.”

The guy says, β€œYou really think I’m nuts, don’t you? I know what you’d do! I’d get halfway up, you’d shut it off!”

(Editor’s note: Batman fans will recognize this as the final joke in The Killing Joke).

http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/two-guys-at-the-funny-farm/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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I hate people that try to tell me how to live my life.

I knew I shouldn't have hired an editor to look at my autobiography.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Being a writer is enjoyable...

But the job of editor is more rewording.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.

However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'

Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the pro

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Need help!

Does anyone have any good magazine/reporter puns? I'm the editor of a student magazine and we'd like a pun to put on our shirts. We can always go with the old standby "we have issues" but I'm sure someone somewhere has something funnier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovethestars
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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What do angry vegetarians send when they read an article about the benefits of eating meat?

Lettuce to the editor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIsMyUserdean
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
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Double dadjoked at work yesterday

My editor in chief told me he couldn't go out to a concert the night before because his nephew had to have emergency gall bladder surgery.

My response: "Wow, the gall of him!"

His response: "Well, at least he had it removed now before it got any bladder."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottheisel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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Dad-joked my journo friend

I'm an editor at a big-city weekly, she's a reporter at a daily in a mid-sized town:

Her: I'm literally chasing down a story about an old lady's birthday party. I need something different.

Me: Literally, huh? Why is she running from you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wavemotiondan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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