Editing Puns

Their ancestors are vi-kings.

It's a real page tuner.

I'm now charged with photoshoplifting.

Me: 👌

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

A hammer.

Unless you Count Dracula.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

Because communication is key

Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit

Ham boogers.

I know, I know, snot funny.

-Edit- Thanks for the awards guys! First silver! :-D

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

2022 won’t be arriving for at least a year.

This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Edit: Thank you for the awards.

I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!

Edit: I have dyslexia*

My how the stables have turned.

Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!

I said, “Where did that come from?”

Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

they look edible

Me: Thats very sad. Venice the funeral?

(Please excuse my poor english as it is not my first language)

Edit: I am not a dad, I am a 15 year old teen
Edit 2: Thank you u/Mnt2bdaddy for the wholesome award.

He orders a drink, and asks for the check.

Duck billed platypus.

Edit: Thanks guys.

I learned next to nothing.

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

So I had to put my foot down.

The steaks are too high.

even the cake was in tiers.

Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.

“Ya, I’m positive.”

But I'm just not a bee leaver.

Edit: Thank you for the award, friend!!!!

Getting karma should be easy as cake

Edit: It’s a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!

Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

He’s my spirit guide.

Edit: Thanks guys.

So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

Because they have little anty-bodies.

Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!

My foot.

Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)

BREATH!!

Edit: breathe..dammit

Because they have no Seoul.

Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.

So you can start the New Year off on the right foot

Edit: Thanks for the silver

They wear tide-die!

EDIT: I know it’s not exactly the dryest humor but I still thought it was fun.

Denmarks

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

Light blue

Edit: Thank you fellow internet strangers for all the awards!

A trophy.