Edit Puns

they look edible

What if I make a spelling mistake?

http://imgur.com/rkEq0xO

Ooooh! You said DAD jokes.....

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

A hammer.

Unless you Count Dracula.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

2022 won’t be arriving for at least a year.

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

My how the stables have turned.

Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!

I said, “Where did that come from?”

Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

He orders a drink, and asks for the check.

Duck billed platypus.

Edit: Thanks guys.

I learned next to nothing.

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

“Ya, I’m positive.”

So I had to put my foot down.

even the cake was in tiers.

Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.

Getting karma should be easy as cake

Edit: It’s a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!

Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!

Their ancestors are vi-kings.

Because they have little anty-bodies.

Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

Denmarks

So you can start the New Year off on the right foot

Edit: Thanks for the silver

He’s my spirit guide.

Edit: Thanks guys.

So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

Because they have no Seoul.

Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.

My foot.

Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)

Because he's not here. I'll tell him when he's back though.

Edit: Thank u for the award kind stranger. :D

New Roman.”

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

A trophy.

Light blue

Edit: Thank you fellow internet strangers for all the awards!

...the cookies now stand left of my keyboard.

I said, “Yes please.”

Waiter: “No problem sir. Today is special.”

Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.

Darth Ritis.

Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.

She's really eiducated.

you get two animals in a baaaaaaaad moooooooood

Edit: Thank u for the gold, kind stranger

I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.

Edit: corrected an udder failure.

Because it's see-food!

my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.

edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.

thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day

Basically I fear the wurst.

Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)