What do you call someone who likes looking at fresh, new Wiki pages?
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︎ Sep 11 2017
Why isn't the 24th of July a holiday?
Are we really expected to work 24/7?
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I apologise if this isn't allowed.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Who was the funniest pope in history?
Pope Hilarius (AD 461 - AD 468)
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Whatβs brown and rhymes with snoop?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
If you wanted to take a bunch of bullets and forge them into a sword fit for a king what Caliber would you use?
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What do you call margarine's sassy walk?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Pun
-What are you listening to?
-Yes.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
To be frank.....
I'd have to change my name.
.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Wikipedias pun game is strong
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I have an Irish friend with a great personality that always bounces off the walls.
His name is Rick OβShea.
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︎ Apr 12 2020
What mathematical operation do the French despise?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Where can I learn about hip-hop?
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Why did the cow get a ticket?
Because of a mooing violation.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Where do DJs get their information?
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︎ Mar 24 2020
Where should you look up 80s white guy rappers?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
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︎ Dec 31 2017
The fugitive who made off with all that anise and fennel;
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︎ May 30 2020
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
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︎ Mar 18 2020
I get confused
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︎ Apr 29 2019
Why don't cows wear flip flops?
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︎ Mar 25 2018
βWhat day is today, Adam?β
βFor the last time, itβs Christmas, Eve.β
Edit: Thanks for so much love. Merry Xmas!
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︎ Dec 24 2017
Why is it hard to measure power usage with differential equations?
Because Watt and Euler don't mix.
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︎ Jan 04 2020
Got banned from r/aww this morning because of a bad pun. Merry Christmas!
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︎ Dec 25 2018
True story: We weβre driving in the car today when my five year old found an umbrella and opened it...
My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasnβt safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasnβt a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.
The kids didnβt get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so Iβm pretty sure it counts.
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︎ Apr 29 2018
When I went to the Dead Sea my wife came up behind me and pushed me in. Everyone who saw it thought it was hilarious.
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︎ Aug 07 2019
I had the opportunity for a potassium pun so I just rolled with it
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︎ Jan 03 2019
Men who date sheep in the late afternoon...
...are just looking for CaSiO3.
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︎ Feb 06 2020
My GF said to me, "I'm growing impatient..."
So I said, "What type of plant is that?"
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︎ Sep 12 2019
Did you hear about the chicken that sniffed too much curry powder?
He got so ill he fell into a korma!
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︎ Jun 12 2019
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︎ Nov 28 2018
Geometry pun! (Xpost from /gifs)
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︎ Jun 07 2016
TIL electricity is not discovered by Tesla nor Edison, but by many people before them including the Greeks
It is a shocking discovery
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electricity
http://scienceline.ucsb.edu/getkey.php?key=4026
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︎ Nov 05 2019
I often get asked how I manage to draw such prefect lines
I say it's quite straight forward.
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︎ Jun 13 2019
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
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︎ Nov 30 2019
[REQUEST] Star Wars Bird Puns
Working on a little something. Give me your best and I will include you in the credits.
So far I only have: Coo Skywalker
Edit: thanks for all the replies! I will post game here soon, and pm those whose puns I end up using.
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︎ Jun 24 2017
There is no way that men and women can be alike....
Because there is a Vas deferens ("vast difference") between them.
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︎ Jun 24 2019
A lawless Old West town where everyone writes in Arial font?
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︎ Oct 12 2018
Why did the mama rocket send the baby rocket to his room?
She didn't like his attitude
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︎ Feb 16 2017
What do you call a piece of tube-shaped pasta that watched too much anime?
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︎ Jan 19 2018
My wife plays violin. I used to play trumpet. Last night we talked aviation.
My wife plays violin and her first rehearsal with a new orchestra is near. She had access to an electronic copy of the music, but wondered whether the orchestra would distribute paper copies at the rehearsal. For orchestras, the section leaders decide when everyone's bows will be moving up vs. down and annotate the music accordingly. Copies of the annotated music are distributed to the players. As a trumpet player who's never needed that kind of annotation, I've always been able to use the originals.
Wife: "String players never play from the originals because we have bowings."
Me: "And wind players have Airbuses!"
Wife: "That joke was just plane awful."
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︎ Aug 31 2016
What's brown, blue and black?
They're colours son. Colours.
Edit: Wow... Didn't expect this much karma. Thanks guys!
Edit 2: Yes. I am fully aware of my bad grammar.
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︎ Nov 07 2015
Dad joke 101
My dad told my brother to change his bedsheets while his gf is coming..
"I don't want her to get pregnant just by sitting" he said
I'm dyin lmaoππ
Destruction 100
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︎ Nov 19 2018
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