EdIT Puns

they look edible

What if I make a spelling mistake?

http://imgur.com/rkEq0xO

Ooooh! You said DAD jokes.....

So I have an uncle, once removed.

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

“Ya, I’m positive.”

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

I learned next to nothing.

So I had to put my foot down.

Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

Because they have no Seoul.

Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.

Their ancestors are vi-kings.

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.

Getting karma should be easy as cake

Edit: It’s a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!

Because it's see-food!

my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.

edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.

thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day

So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.

New Roman.”

I told him it’s Naan of his business

Edit: he could have replied “papa dumb”

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

A trophy.

She's really eiducated.

What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!

I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.

Because they spend years at C

No, I got them all cut!

....

It was a shitzu.

EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)

Apparently it was big news.

When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.

It's a real page tuner.

It was an addition edition audition.

Laterhosen.

For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus

Knock-knock.

>!Who's there?!<

Edit: my son told me this. I was confused at why I had to start it and then cracked up when he said “who’s there?”

A vegeta-bull

Edit: It’s been brought up that I should’ve said bovine instead of cow. I definitely didn’t mean to offend anyone! I literally thought this stupid joke to myself while in the shower lol

It must be viral.

Edit: OMG Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!

... it’s shredded cabbage

Edit: I personally hate coleslaw and thought it was made of lettuce.

I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!

Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!

Hypothermia! It’s the coolest way to go.

IM LIVID

My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!

But backwards it’s even more stupid...

I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didn’t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.

and boy are my arms legs.