Why do tectonic plates have to wear diapers?
Because they struggle within continents.
Asked my wife how many diapers I should get
I just found out that they make special diapers for baby boys.
They call them diap-hims.
Jokingly said it was a poopy diaper, wife was surprised and asked “Really?!?!”
I said no, I’m just making shit up.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
I wore a diaper to the comedy show
Just for shits and giggles
I need to start wearing a diaper when I go to Vegas...
It’s always just a matter of time until craps ruin my day
You guys ever see the price of diapers?
Does anyone know how to get stains out of cloth diapers?
We've tried everything, but it remains undie turd.
What kind of diapers does Sidney Crosby wear?
My wife keeps trying to make me wear diapers
She’s got to be kid-ding me.
Why did the dad change the poopy diaper?
He was #2 in the household pecking order.
I take my time when choosing a diaper cream...
I don't want to make a quick, rash decision!
I think my wife is changing my son’s diaper too often.
The box says they are good for up to 14 pounds.
There was a diaper bag on sale for only 23 cents.
I got it for spare change
It's a grandpa joke but whatever. 'Kids, when you're my age, you'll really want to wear diapers again for 2 good reasons'
'What are the reasons?'
'#1, and #2'
'Oh grandpa...'
'You don't understand. #2 was a solid one'
'Stoooop'
'And you should already understand #1, it runs in your genes'
I've been wearing diapers recently for two reasons
Number one and number two
Her: what took you long? Me: you dont say. I just had a chat with our son bout how he should be wearing a proper underwear instead of diapers,
It was just a brief discussion.
They say Counterfeit diapers are an accident waiting to happen
But I think they are full of crap
My boss is like a diaper...
Always on my ass and usually full of shit.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common...
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Why did the landlocked country need diapers?
Because it was in-continent!
What do you say to a baby who speaks French and wets his diaper?
European man
(Courtesy of my husband)
I'm always asked to put on a new diaper for our baby, but I childishly refuse.
My wife wishes I would change.
What kind of diapers did Michael Jackson's kids wear?
What did the Pink Panther say to his misbehaving son during a diaper change?
Butt up - butt up - butt up butt up butt up butt up butt up!
What kind of bear wears diapers?
Diapers
Diapers come in sizes that are rated according to the baby's weight i.e. "up to 12 lbs". Every time my dad (grandpa to my kids) sees a pack of diapers he says " I don't think they'll hold that much ". Every. Single. Time.
My grandad went crazy and stopped wearing his diapers. I guess you could say he’s
My kids' diapers have characters like Eeyore, Tigger, Piglet, etc...
Occasionally I tell my wife, "We can't use that one, it already has Pooh on it."
My 1 week old son has some bad diaper rash.
He’s pretty butthurt about it.
My baby daughter has diarrhea. I've changed so many poopy diapers today, I couldn't even tell you how many.
They all just kinda run together at this point
My wife got mad at me today for not changing a poopy diaper.
I told her, "the box says good for 15-18 lbs! there isn't even 1 lb of poop in there now."
I think I need to get my baby new diapers.
They say they are rated for 14-18 lbs but they keep splitting open when they are only 4-5 lbs full.
Someone stole diapers and baby pacifiers from the childcare center.
I heard reusable diapers were much cheaper...
...Since the baby was born I don’t have much disposable income.
I had an offer to invest in a diaper company. But I refused.
Seemed like a pretty crappy business to me.
My husband and I were changing our 3 week old son's diaper
It's 3 am, we're both exhausted, and this tiny child just took the biggest poop!
Me: Wow! That's a hefty diaper!
Husband: Actually, that's a Pampers...Hefty makes trash bags.
Me: groan I'm going to bed!
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
I only wear diapers for two reasons
Number one
And number two
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