Told my wife I was in nappies up until 5.
Then I stopped for the evening.
How do you clean cloth nappies (diapers)?
Boil the shit out of them.
Benedict Cumberbatch announces that his baby boy doesn't need his nappy changed, his wife replies...
'no shit, Sherlock'
My mate set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."
I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a nappy...
My wife phoned me while away.
"How's the baby?" she asked. "Have you changed her nappy today?"
I said, "No, I haven't changed it all week, in fact."
"What? Why the hell have you not changed our baby's nappy? It's been five days!!!"
I said, "Because it says 4-6 months on the packet."
Why wasn't the baby able to sleep properly?
Because it wasnt wearing a nappy.
