Someone stole diapers and baby pacifiers from the childcare center.

It was a nursery crime.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
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My wife asked me why I gave my daughter a pacifier...

I responded: "to pacifier."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meta4knox
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Don't you dare CONSOLE my family
πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nis_sama
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Looking for a new pun tat

I already have a bee on my butt-cuz when I do the sizzle finger thing I say it stings beeing this hot

A pacifier on my middle finger- for the suckers

I am hoping to get a fly in a suit soon holding some jars of honey- cuz you can catch a fly with honey but you can catch more hunnys being fly

Any other ideas would be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drippinsteezsam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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My baby girl is going to have trouble with the cops.

She is always refusing to take a nap

And resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
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Holding my little girl, my wife walks up...

Little one is furiously violating her pacifier when the lady says, β€œI suppose it’s time for a feeding.”

Hand on the pacifier, I looked up and replied, β€œShall I uncork the whine?”

An unwavering stare was my only reward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/codepoet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
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