A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
ποΈ 69
π
οΈ Mar 03 2021
I wrote a book about armadillo shells the other day
ποΈ 30
π
οΈ Mar 01 2021
I got home one day and a book was stuck to my toddler
Me: What'd you do today?
My toddler: Nothing
Me: Are you sure about that?
My toddler: That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Feb 11 2021
I was reading a book about an immortal horse the other day.
It was impossible to put down
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Feb 16 2021
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Oct 24 2020
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...
"I'm measuring your patience!"
ποΈ 7k
π
οΈ Aug 24 2019
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ May 03 2020
I picked up this book on blackholes the other day.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Dec 07 2019
So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jan 22 2020
I read a book on difficult computer languages the other day
Now I can write in pro grammar
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Feb 10 2020
It's World Book Day...
Or as I call it, Atlas Day.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Oct 18 2019
One of these days Iβll write a book.
But thats a story for another time.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ May 21 2019
I finally got around to reading a book about planning my day...
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Aug 22 2019
I have a whole book of 365 jokes, one for each day of the year. Here are some of the ones I dont cringe at:
-
Why do prisoners hate computers?
The escape key never works.
-
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.
-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toucan.
Toucan who?
Toucan play at that game
-
How do bees brush their hair?
With honeycombs.
-
Why was the empty Olympic stadium so hot?
All the fans had left.
-
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was playing crossy road.
-
Can February March?
No but April may.
-
Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
10.why are recycling bins so optimistic?
Cuz they're full of cans.
[Insert minion meme]
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Jun 09 2019
I walked into a bookstore the other day and asked the clerk if they had any books on turtles.
Worker: "Hard back?"
Me: "Yeah, with little heads."
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jul 14 2019
The other day I drank a new kind of tea that is made by steeping a book in hot water.
Probably won't have it again. It was just a novelty
ποΈ 61
π
οΈ Jan 30 2019
The other day, my daughter asked why her school books are so heavy
I said βbecause they are full of knowledge!β
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jan 25 2019
I was reading a book the other day and a man started adding dirt to a farmers land.
Thatβs the point in the book where the plot thickened.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 01 2019
I was carrying a nine-foot book the other day and a woman asked what I was doing.
I said βOh itβs a long story.β
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Feb 01 2019
I got woken up early by the kids as they're excited about it being world book day
as usual I completely forgot so it's the usual case of rush round and come up with something last minute.
According to the school The Emperor's New Clothes is not suitable.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Mar 07 2019
I was carrying a 9 foot book down the street the other day when a lady asked me what I was doing.
I said 'oh it's a long story'
ποΈ 68
π
οΈ Oct 22 2017
World book day
Stuck for ideas for fancy dress for world book day?
May I suggest sending your child to school as the emperor from the story the emperor's new clothes.
Simple and inexpensive, what is not to like?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jan 14 2019
Read a great book the other day called "The Great Yellow River"
it was written by I.P. Freely
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Aug 22 2018
Bought this book for my dad for Father's Day. My boyfriend said it belongs here.
http://m.imgur.com/a/huo6v
Sorry the pictures are backwards and poor quality.
ποΈ 96
π
οΈ Sep 08 2014
The other day I read a book titled βSpycatcherβ
It was a biography of Moe Berg.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Feb 09 2018
The other day I was second guessing my decision to book time to visit a Native American community...
It was a reservation reservation reservation.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Apr 27 2017
For World Book Day, I dressed as a wardrobe. People asked me why I didnt dress as a lion or witch...
I've never seen them feature in the IKEA catalogue.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Mar 02 2017
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