A list of puns related to "Book Day"
The teacher said: "Who are you meant to be?"
I said: "Poo bare".
My kid surprised me today with a handmade book with dad jokes. Each joke had an associated graphic too as a bonus! I'm so happy I wanted to share the joy with you guys.
These are the 26 jokes (some I've learned from here, but a few of them I've never heard):
I'm afraid for the calendar, its days are numbered.
My wide said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That's a big step forward!
What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says - I'll have a beer and a mop please.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
I don't trust trees, they're too shady.
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Did you hear the rumour about the butter? I did, but I'm not going to spread it!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself? Because it was two-tired.
Why did Billy get fired from the banana packaging factory? He kept trowing away the bent ones.
Why was math so sad? Because of all its problems.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
A guy walks into a bar and got disqualified from the limbo contest.
Have you ever try to catch fog? I did once, but I mist.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
I Was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel, but you guys didn't like it.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.
Why are piggy banks so wise? Because they're filled with common cents.
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
You know, people say they pick their noses, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
What did zero said to eight? That belt looks great on you.
To whoever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you. You have my word.
I hope you find a few new ones too in this list.
"He was a dark and stormy knight."
He said, “250 pages”
Honestly, I can't put it down.
Still waiting for it to arrive.
It was impossible to put down.
I only have my shelf to blame though.
I know because I just watched a video about it.
I said "It's a long story".
Readers digest
It's about thyme.
It really sucked me in.
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
Now I can write in pro grammar
Probably won't have it again. It was just a novelty
I said 'oh it's a long story'
Why do prisoners hate computers?
The escape key never works.
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Toucan. Toucan who? Toucan play at that game
How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs.
Why was the empty Olympic stadium so hot? All the fans had left.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
Can February March? No but April may.
Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
10.why are recycling bins so optimistic? Cuz they're full of cans.
[Insert minion meme]
It's about time...
I said “Oh it’s a long story.”
That’s the point in the book where the plot thickened.
http://m.imgur.com/a/huo6v Sorry the pictures are backwards and poor quality.
as usual I completely forgot so it's the usual case of rush round and come up with something last minute.
According to the school The Emperor's New Clothes is not suitable.
Stuck for ideas for fancy dress for world book day?
May I suggest sending your child to school as the emperor from the story the emperor's new clothes.
Simple and inexpensive, what is not to like?
it was written by I.P. Freely
It was a reservation reservation reservation.
It was a biography of Moe Berg.
I've never seen them feature in the IKEA catalogue.
it was impossible to put down.
It was impossible to put down
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