My wife came back from the store today wearing a shirt with stalks of corn on it.

I asked her if she got a good deal on her new crop top, and she heard me from across the street. Her ears are brand new!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobiam232
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk

My 7-year old daughter said this one tonight during dinner. I'm so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Two corn stalks are standing in a field. One leans over to the other and whispers, β€œHey I gotta tell you something, you got a minute?” The other corn stalk says...

β€œSure, I’m all ears.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caferreri11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked.

It was earie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Did a corn maize the other day

I felt like I was getting stalked.

It was earie.

I’m sure I’ll get an ear full for this corn-y joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Why should you never tell someone a secret while you are at a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beans stalk!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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Looking to buy some farmland north of Minneapolis/St. Paul in 1996

Dad: "Lot's of corn you guys got on this farm!"

Seller: "We sure do, been in the family business for many years now."

Dad: "Could be a little creepy with all the corn....stalking us!"

Seller: "......"

Dad: "Sorry, just a little corny jokes :D "

We left extremely embarrassed and never bought the land. (edit, formatting)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_brotato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2016
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Went to a pumpkin patch a few weeks ago...

I was A-maize-d by how corny the corn maze was. Definitely not worth the $5.

It did have a lot in common with Dumbo though - it was all ears.

And it did creep me out a bit. Felt like I was being stalked the whole time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/digitaldavis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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Made a dad joke on Facebook. My dad friend mercilessly shows me how it's done

My status: Any tips on how to keep raccoons from eating my corn crop? I'm all ears. But seriously raccoons are assholes.

Dad friend responds back to back.

"There's a kernel of truth to that statement!"

"But shucks, poor guys can't help it."

"Maybe get your dog to start stalking them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Old_Army90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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I thought I was being stalked in a corn maze once

It was very earie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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