What's the best way to climb out of ELO hell?

Pray to ELOhim.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chosenwaffle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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The other day I had to climb up some equipment at a cheese making factory.

I thought that it was strong enough to clamber up, but it ended up giving whey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XOIIO
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?

Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).

Dad: To eat some cherries.

Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.

Dad: He brought his own.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RipKipley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What’s white and can’t climb trees?

A fridge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faithy87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.

Her plans have been foiled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Why couldn’t the peeping tom climb mountains?

Because he always peaked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Why did the Dragonborn climb all the way to High Hrothgar?

He wanted to know what all the Fus was all about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viral_Idiot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Why did the chicken climb on top of the house?

...because it wanted to be a ROOFster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonderflex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My son asked me what it's like to climb Mt. Everest

I summit up for him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soulfox1988
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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So the travel agency said I could climb Mt. Everest and it would only cost $100,000.

I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Why did the comedians climb the mountain?

Cause they thought it would be hill-arious!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Anti-climb axe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mangopojke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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How to climb a ladder, Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?

It was Low Koala Tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Why did the Yorkshireman climb the mountain?

Because it was summit to do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmVee66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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Even though he had an extreme fear of heights, why did the butcher resolve to climb all the way up the ladder?

The steaks were too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitch_watson
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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Does the people who climb Mount Everest... everest

>!had to put the punch line on the title!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who tried to climb a hill without a watch?

He didn't make it because he had neither the time nor the inclination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordsmiles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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What's white and cant climb?

Refrigerator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingReagan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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My girlfriend said no when I asked her to climb a snowbank with me...

Oh well, I'm over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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There was a prison break and saw a midget climb up the fence and give me a nasty look

And I thought to myself β€œthat was a little condescending”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandi-ela
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Why did the junkies climb the mountain?

So that they could get high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetty_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Do the guys who climb mountains

ever rest?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2015
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My back gate was frozen shut today. Had to try to climb over it to get the garbage to the alley.

I somehow managed to get myself stuck up there. I’m still on the fence about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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To get out of the window, you can either jump or climb down, I’d choose the ladder
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrHaggans
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
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Jake wanted to rock climb but quit when learning how to descend with ropes

He found the idea rappel-ent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamblingScholar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Why did the cow climb on to the roof of the barn?

Because it didn't want to be ground beef

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecadet04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Out of two objects, which one can you use to climb a wall?

The latter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freshoutofthebox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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How to climb a ladder:

Step one

Step two

Step three

Step four

Step five

Step six

Step seven

Step eight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brandump
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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What do you get when a cow climbs a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carson_howard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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I didn't know if I wanted to climb over the bar.

I was kinda on the fence about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazingMetal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
🚨︎ report
I was out for a group ride and my friend noticed I never got out of the saddle on climbs

He said β€œI haven’t seen you get out of the saddle once in the last 30 miles, are you hatching an egg down there or something?” And I said β€œYou know, if you keep giving me crap about this, I won’t stand for it!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Today my friend was hiding a tree. I told him he was too old to climb trees and that he should get a job.

He said, "I have a job! I'm a branch manager!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reason-and-rhyme
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2013
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What's the difference between a ladder and a hammer? --You can't climb the latter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MV10
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, "Well, that's a little condescending." 9gag.com/gag/aBQVAjQ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSkyentist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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What's White and can't climb a tree?

A Fridge

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2016
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Mountains must be hard to climb.

You can neverest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/everabove
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2016
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How To Climb a Ladder.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 3. So on and so forth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iloveusername1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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How to climb stairs

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

Step 6

Step 7

Step 8

Step 9

Step 10

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatRedditLucas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me.

I thought, well that's a little condescending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiner_bock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
🚨︎ report

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