What's the best way to climb out of ELO hell?
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︎ Apr 17 2021
The other day I had to climb up some equipment at a cheese making factory.
I thought that it was strong enough to clamber up, but it ended up giving whey.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?
Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).
Dad: To eat some cherries.
Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.
Dad: He brought his own.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Whatβs white and canβt climb trees?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.
Her plans have been foiled.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Why couldnβt the peeping tom climb mountains?
Because he always peaked.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Why did the Dragonborn climb all the way to High Hrothgar?
He wanted to know what all the Fus was all about.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
Why did the chicken climb on top of the house?
...because it wanted to be a ROOFster.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
My son asked me what it's like to climb Mt. Everest
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︎ Jun 06 2020
So the travel agency said I could climb Mt. Everest and it would only cost $100,000.
I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Why did the comedians climb the mountain?
Cause they thought it would be hill-arious!!!
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Anti-climb axe
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︎ Nov 25 2017
How to climb a ladder, Step 1:
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︎ Nov 21 2019
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Why did the Yorkshireman climb the mountain?
Because it was summit to do.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
Even though he had an extreme fear of heights, why did the butcher resolve to climb all the way up the ladder?
The steaks were too high.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
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︎ May 15 2019
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...
Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, βDarling, don't you think itβs time to tell him heβs adopted?"
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︎ Jun 30 2018
Does the people who climb Mount Everest... everest
>!had to put the punch line on the title!<
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︎ May 24 2019
Did you hear about the guy who tried to climb a hill without a watch?
He didn't make it because he had neither the time nor the inclination.
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︎ Apr 19 2018
What's white and cant climb?
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︎ Jul 29 2019
My girlfriend said no when I asked her to climb a snowbank with me...
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︎ Mar 07 2019
There was a prison break and saw a midget climb up the fence and give me a nasty look
And I thought to myself βthat was a little condescendingβ
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︎ Jan 03 2019
Why did the junkies climb the mountain?
So that they could get high.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
Do the guys who climb mountains
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︎ Oct 05 2015
My back gate was frozen shut today. Had to try to climb over it to get the garbage to the alley.
I somehow managed to get myself stuck up there. Iβm still on the fence about it.
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︎ Mar 06 2019
To get out of the window, you can either jump or climb down, Iβd choose the ladder
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︎ Jan 14 2018
Jake wanted to rock climb but quit when learning how to descend with ropes
He found the idea rappel-ent
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︎ Nov 28 2018
Why did the cow climb on to the roof of the barn?
Because it didn't want to be ground beef
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︎ Sep 04 2018
Out of two objects, which one can you use to climb a wall?
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︎ Jan 23 2018
How to climb a ladder:
Step one
Step two
Step three
Step four
Step five
Step six
Step seven
Step eight
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︎ Jan 15 2018
What do you get when a cow climbs a barbed wire fence?
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︎ Apr 25 2018
I didn't know if I wanted to climb over the bar.
I was kinda on the fence about it.
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︎ Oct 03 2016
I was out for a group ride and my friend noticed I never got out of the saddle on climbs
He said βI havenβt seen you get out of the saddle once in the last 30 miles, are you hatching an egg down there or something?β And I said βYou know, if you keep giving me crap about this, I wonβt stand for it!β
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︎ Jan 28 2018
Today my friend was hiding a tree. I told him he was too old to climb trees and that he should get a job.
He said, "I have a job! I'm a branch manager!"
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︎ May 01 2013
What's the difference between a ladder and a hammer? --You can't climb the latter.
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︎ Aug 06 2014
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, "Well, that's a little condescending."
9gag.com/gag/aBQVAjQ
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︎ Nov 23 2014
What's White and can't climb a tree?
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︎ Mar 05 2016
Mountains must be hard to climb.
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︎ Apr 25 2016
How To Climb a Ladder.
Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
So on and so forth.
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︎ Jan 08 2018
How to climb stairs
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
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︎ Jul 24 2018
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me.
I thought, well that's a little condescending.
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︎ Nov 19 2016
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