Han sanitizer
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
I thought to myself, "Hmmm, that's a little condescending."
But it's all been downhill from there.
I actually made it up.
It's good to keep up on current events.
His son replied "Dad - don't let me down. I'm counting on you."
In the end, I’m not sure whether he made it up.
I fell on my ass!
It was unbeeleavable
I said that I wanted to be above the law
Mountain Jew
'Look dad, I'm a son-roof!'
He was bi-polar.
on the merry-go-round. Before the ride started, they began bickering.
I spun on my horse, pointed my finger at the kids and said in a very loud voice.
"Don't make me turn this carousel around!"
They got quiet. Actually, everyone got quiet.
Step one Step two Step three Etc.
Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).
Dad: To eat some cherries.
Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.
Dad: He brought his own.
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
It was a relief map.
I did not think I would Everest.
That'd be a different story all together.
Her plans have been foiled.
I thought to myself, “That’s a little condescending.”
Because he always peaked.
I’m inclined to agree
I was shocked to find out it was an electric fence
Hopefully soon i get the hang of it.
A condescending con descending
I’m always on top of things
He wanted to know what all the Fus was all about.
...because it wanted to be a ROOFster.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡I just can't get the hang of it. Maybe if I was a little boulder.
I summit up for him
It does not know how to climb down.
It was my climb-it change.
But it's all downhill from there
It was sheer.
She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.
I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.
It was a little condescending
I thought that was a little condescending
Thought to myself, “that’s a little condescending”.
I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
I thought to myself... “that’s a little condescending”.
He fell!
It was a little condescending.
...I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.
After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine." I said, "Are you a vet?" To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."
I thought to myself, “now that’s a little condescending”
