Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
IMDb rating 4.3/10 but pun game 10/10
Puns about white sugar are rare, but puns about brown sugar?
Puns about the body are generally corny,
But puns about the eye are cornea.
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
That’s just unpresidented
Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts aren’t aloud
I've suspected my Wife of adding extra soil to our garden, so I confronted her about it, but she just shrugged it off..
Dad joke but.. I'm a mother..
What Job did Beethoven get after he died?
He decomposed.
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
y=mx+b jokes are fine, but..
At some point, we'll have to draw the line
Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money
I admit it’s a repost, but this pun is just a sin... Please let me know if you get it!!!
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
Was gonna tell you a time travelling joke but..
I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.
It was too time consuming.
A bunch of books fell on me yesterday, but I couldn’t find anyone at fault in the accident.
I only have my shelf to blame.
Y’all hear about that country barber who accepts venison as payment, but only does bowl cuts?
Says he just wants to give folks the most bangs for their buck.
found on fb but someone had a little problem
I don't mean to brag, but...
cashiers are always checking me out.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
This pun is a little cheesy but still grate
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
I had mono in high school. I went to the doctor today with similar symptoms but two times worse...
Saw this in another sub but thought it belonged here
I’ve always wanted to tap my neighbors’ maple tree, but he wouldn’t give me permission.
Think I could do it syruptitiously?
Of course, this never happened, but we can dream!
I tried dating a communist, but it didn’t work out.
There were too many red flags.
What do you call it when you don’t want to use a urinal but your friends make you?
"I caught two men in balaclavas breaking into my house last night," said my friend. "But they got away sadly."
"How do you know they were sad if they were wearing balaclavas?" I asked.
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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