Two clowns were watching the late evening news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The station then cut to a commercial.
The first clown said, “I bet you $20 he’s going to jump.”
The second clown replied “Okay, it’s a bet!”
(Back to newscast.) The man jumped.
The second clown, being a good sport, pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to the other clown. “Okay. Here’s my $20.”
However, the first clown refused, saying “No, I can’t take it.”
The second clown replied, “I insist. I lost the bet fair and square.”
The first clown said, “I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00 news and knew he jumped. So it wasn’t really a fair bet.”
But the second clown replied, “I know. I saw the same newscast. But I didn’t think he would be stupid enough to jump twice!”
http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/betting-on-the-man-jumping-off-a-ledge/
The bookies always assume they never even have a shot.
I hear a cattle rancher came in and really raised the steaks.
to the tuna $50,000
He just didn’t cut it.
1
I said, “Huron.”
I've already been promoted to Kernel.
But no, Nyet.
I have got loads of back issues.
.....never invented anything else.
He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980’s and was able to count at least 8 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
But it was arson
It was riveting.
Needless to say, I ignored all the neigh sayers.
AU!
So he yelled, "Hey - ya new tent has come I bet!" as he ran to the door
It was gross.
I think It may have cost him a couple arms and a couple legs.
...It was a down grade.
I got a little behind in my work
John saw a tornado out the window of Frank’s house and said to Frank
“Jesus man! that’s an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!”
Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards
John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones
“For Fuck’s sake Frank which is the best cellar!?”
With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.
I didn’t find it very appealing.
I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice!
Officers have nothing to go on.
You should of seen her face as I drove pasta.
to the tuna $50,000
1
You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.
