Max Butting Puns

How could I turn that down!?

He has always been an anti climb Max.

Just pretext: "un œuf" in french means "an/one egg".

French Teacher: Why do French people only eat one egg per day max?

Response: Because one egg is un œuf. (sounds similar to enough)

It may not seem very funny, but with the right prenunciation, this dadjoke is a killer vocally.

It is a close to new, 50” 4K flatscreen, and a woman comes up and asks him “What’s wrong with this TV, to only be selling it for a dollar?”

The man tells her “Well, there’s nothing wrong with the picture, or anything like that, but the volume is stuck on max, and you can’t change it at all. So are you interested in buying it for a dollar?”

She says “Well, you can’t turn that down”.

I don't have any kids, but I think this was pretty dad-like:

We usually scream at max volume when we play, but our other roommate was sleeping so we had to stay pretty quiet.

It was my Kung Lao and Kano vs his Smoke and Sonya.

I swept him clean, 3-0, and he gave the excuse, "It was because I couldn't get loud."

I told him, "Oh, but you did get loud... KUNG LAO'D!"

He groaned, I basked in the glory.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

“So as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

“Please, call me Max”

“Alright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

“No that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, “I’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

On mobile sorry if errors. Context: I work in a bar. We hired a new girl, she came in right before it got busy. After two hours worked working together..

Me: "Sorry I didn't get a chance to properly introduce myself. I'm Max by the way....but that's not my real last nMe"

Her:"Hi, I'm Gabbi, wait, what?"

Me:"nevermind"

60" TV for sale - only $1! Why so cheap, you may ask? Well the volume is stuck at max, but that's a very minor inconvenience for an otherwise perfectly beautiful television. Jump on this deal quick! You can't turn it down!

I told him, "No, sorry, we're at max catacity!" without realizing what I was saying. Everyone else groaned but I laughed until my stomach hurt. :(

"And I'll need a few shirts."

"You'll only need two shirts max."

"But I'm not Max, I'm Tom!"