A pregnant co-worker walked into the office the other day. I took a look at her baby bump and said “it’s becoming apparent that you’re becoming a parent”.
Stay safe everyone and try to keep smiling
One tectonic plate bumps into another..
And says: sorry, my fault
I'm clumsy and I have bump into things with alarming frequency.
A shark bumps into a dolphin...
and the dolphin says, "Did you do that on porpoise?"
Two atoms are walking down the street and bump into each other
-Are you ok?
-I think I lost an electron
-Are you sure?
-I’m positive!
What do you call it when a stalagmite and a stalactites finally bump into each other in the center of a cave?
Me; *bumps into a hoe who I haven't seen in a while* Me; thot you weren't gonna see me anymore, did you
Why do Communists never bump into each other on the stairs?
Because they keep to the far left.
When I tripped at the museum I worked at years ago, I just so happened to bump into my future wife.
At that moment, I knew I fell in louvre.
Two electrons bump into each other
One says to the other, "why didn't you just wave"?
Be honest with me, is this a good joke?
Walking my two Jack Russell Terriers the other day, and I bump into a guy who asks "Are those Jack Russells?"
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
Went to go pick my glasses up from SpecSavers today and you’ll never guess who I bumped into!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton when they bumped into each other and fell apart?
Well, it looks like I have a bone to pick with you!
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand-new Rolex."
Do you know who I bumped into at the opticians
Did you hear about the dolphin that bumped into the whale?
The little fish bumped into a wall while swimming up stream
. . . and exclaimed, "Dam!"
Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
I bumped into my very short mate Peter down the pub. He told a few hilarious stories about the flatbread factory he works in.
I love the pitta patter of tiny Pete
You’ll never guess who I bumped into at spec savers
Everyone
My dad actually told us this
I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.
I took the Agnetha from ABBA our for dinner once. I bumped into her again last week and asked if she enjoyed it and would she like to go for dinner again. She said...
“There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, For a Nandos.”
Got busted almost bumping into windows on the way to work today
I accidentally bumped into a guy at the cafe and spilled my coffee all over him.
Judging from the expresso on his face, he's not too happy with me.
Bumped into a really great cellist while he was playing.
He struck a chord with me.
I bumped into an old school friend today.
I bumped into an old friend who had just been duck hunting.
Hey, I didn't see you there.
I recently bumped into someone at the movie theater...
He told me, “watch the fuck out man!”
I walked up to the ticket counter and asked him when “the fuck out man was playing”, but there sadly weren’t any showings in the area.
You would not guess who I bumped into at the optometrist.
It was everyone. I need glasses.
What did the pizza delivery leprechaun say when he accidentally bumped into the front door?
Doors usually aren't rude
but if you bump into one, it might start swinging.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed...
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another tectonic plate?
One tectonic plate bumped into another and then said
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand new Rolex."
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
What did the fish say when he bumped into a brick wall?
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
Went to the opticians yesterday, guess who I bumped into?
One tectonic plate bumped into another and said...
I recently bumped into the man who sold me my antique globe...
What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into another tectonic plate?
I recently bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
You'll never guess who I bumped into at the opticians!
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