Bread Dough Puns

"Really?" "Sure," she said.

"It's the yeast I can do."

I guess that's why they call it window pain.

True dad that man!!

It's toast!

It is kneadless, to say.

He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, “This bread is for a very special occasion, so I’m going to make a back-up.” He then plopped an extra loaf’s worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, “Dad, why’d you do that?” The baker smiled and told his son, “It’s better to halve it and not knead it.”

You have to get a rise out of it.

He said "are you trying to show off?" I said "no, I've got nothing to prove"

Because it's made from scratch!

..she really kneads it.

I told her she was only postponing the unleavenable.

It was the pizza de resistance.

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.

It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.

The bread was sour dough

"What's the difference? Does it have a licence to mill?" It's an awful joke, but live and let rye.

I noticed some real change in him

I’ve got something to prove.

Me: I wonder if they would tell us how to make this bread.

Girlfriend: Actually I'm sure it's pretty easy!

Me: I don't know, we may have to sign a Naan Disclosure Agreement.

Me: What's that boss? My boss: holding up a couple of bags of bread that weren't cooked all the way through Oh this is bread that wasn't cooked all the way. It's still kind of uncooked in the middle. Me: Yikes. I guess that's a lot of dough lost for us huh? My boss: groans Yes OP.

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: “I am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

"Try my girlfriends pickled bread, she uses dill dough".....

So, I'm about to eat breakfast at my parents. I ask what kind of bread everyone wants. My mom says, "I like the dill rye bread." My dad replies, "that's because it's made of dill dough!" And they both start laughing hysterically. My parents, ladies and gentlemen. 37 years together and she still finds him funny.

My wife was prepping to bake some bread. I yell down to her in the kitchen "what are you 'doughing' down there?"

As we're enjoying the bread she asked me to call our dog Charlie down from upstairs. I grabbed my cell phone and asked her "what's his number?"

My cousin talking about her new job at a bakery.

Cousin: "I even get to take home a loaf of bread after my shifts."

My dad: "Wow sounds like you are really bringing in the dough."

Dad:"Hey, do you want me to get anything from the store?"

Me:"Sure can you get me some bread please?"

Him:"Give me some dough, and I'll get you some bread!

Proceeded by sarcastic groan/laughs.

I work in a kitchen and I was making bread last night. I remarked, "Whenever I knead this dough I feel like an old Russian woman."

Without missing a beat another cook answered back, "When I knead dough, I feel broke."

Spent two hours at the grocery store getting a ton of food so she didn't have to make the trip. What do I get in return?

Text from GF: "This bread sticks to my teeth a lot"

My response: "DOUGH!"

GF: "Ha...... Ha...."

me: "I was hoping you'd LOAF that"

GF: "Where's the cheese emoticon?"

me: "WHEAT a second, I'll try & find one"

GF: "I'm rolling my eyes and shaking my head"

me: "No cheese emoticon... CHIBATTA call Apple & tell em to get on that".

me: "Will butter do instead? Cuz I'm on a ROLL"

No further response... will update if saga continues.

A man and his wife enter a bakery to buy some bread. Now these are harsh economic times, and the man says to his wife, "I'm not sure if I want to spend my hard earned money on this bread because I don't know who makes it. I don't know whose hands have been on it, you know?", and his wife replies, "But honey, the baker is our neighbor, Alfonso. He kneads the dough."

It is kneadless, to say.