When making pastries, you wouldn't want to overdough the kneading
I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...
But then I found out that would be massage-ony.
Wife: Some people say kneading dough relaxes them but it does nothing for me.
Me: So what you're saying is you don't need it?
(she wasn't impressed)
Was telling my dad that I need to trim my cat's claws due to how painful her kneading was getting...
"she's just practicing catupuncture!"
I kneaded you, but you weren't bready for the commitment.
I truly kneaded this today.
I truly kneaded this today.
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery
I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
I just LOAF that suitcase, and i KNEAD one now...
Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.
Have you ever tried to prepared bread?
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
A student baked a loaf of bread for foods class.
At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.
The student said: “Thanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”
Why did the baker take out a business loan?
In case you're feeling crummy.
I am a bread making apprentice, I knead to know!
I kneaded this so hard right now.
A baker has a crumby job, its the yeast of his concerns as he probably just kneads the dough
My dad worked in a pizza shop through college so he could afford to eat something other than ramen.
He was kneading the dough.
Why does cat kneaded dough make the best bread?
Because it's made from scratch!
I think we knead a pun about bread on here.
Why do pizza makers go to work everyday?
I knead help
I have a new bird. At the moment he is nameless. I would like an awesome pun name for him but I'm coming up blank. Comment anything you can up with thank you
Why did the baker throw away the bread someone gave him?
Because he didn't knead it!
Do my dough puns make you cringe?
That's the yeast of my concerns
Why did the baker smell like shit?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I don't usually make bread puns
They're always too crummy
We don't knead dough to have a good time.
I may not have the fanciest dough mixing machine...
but it handles all my kneads.
I almost missed my cake day!
That would have been real crumby.
Edit: thanks for the gifts! I’ve never felt so kneaded.
I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.
When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"
Why did the Baker have brown hands?
True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :
Why is money called dough?
Shoutout to my peeps working at cheap pizza restaurants
How hard is it to track down a bread thief?
My wife is studying to become a massage therapist
All she wants to do is study and practice. I’ve got to cook; I’ve got to clean. It’s tough.
But I have to say, at the end of the day, it does feel nice to be kneaded
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
I am a bread making apprentice, I knead to know!
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