When making pastries, you wouldn't want to overdough the kneading
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffinedude
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...

But then I found out that would be massage-ony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Wife: Some people say kneading dough relaxes them but it does nothing for me.

Me: So what you're saying is you don't need it?

(she wasn't impressed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matttk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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Was telling my dad that I need to trim my cat's claws due to how painful her kneading was getting...

"she's just practicing catupuncture!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObserveWithHasty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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I kneaded you, but you weren't bready for the commitment.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DisorientatedBee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I kneaded it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romeo_rocks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Bread
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uphihion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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I truly kneaded this today.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/017383L1x1xxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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I knead this
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuspiciousOmelet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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I truly kneaded this today.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liar_of_partinel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery

I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/troutslayer12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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I just LOAF that suitcase, and i KNEAD one now...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/convict99
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Do we really knead this?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greigers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.

I kneaded the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jgfum
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Have you ever tried to prepared bread?

There's no knead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G00DMUZIC
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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What kind of shoes do bakers wear?

Loafers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartianHunter420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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A student baked a loaf of bread for foods class.

At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.

The student said: β€œThanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DustyThunder11235
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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I feel the knead...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mavyn1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Why did the baker take out a business loan?

He kneaded the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimya_d
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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In case you're feeling crummy.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I am a bread making apprentice, I knead to know!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahChristopher
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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I kneaded this so hard right now.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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A baker has a crumby job, its the yeast of his concerns as he probably just kneads the dough
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_netwinder_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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I don’t just want bread.

I knead it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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My dad worked in a pizza shop through college so he could afford to eat something other than ramen.

He was kneading the dough.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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/r/puns appreciates it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Skyrim kneads a hero
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragkire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Why does cat kneaded dough make the best bread?

Because it's made from scratch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I think we knead a pun about bread on here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatticusPrime127
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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Why do pizza makers go to work everyday?

They knead the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthewendigo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I knead help

I have a new bird. At the moment he is nameless. I would like an awesome pun name for him but I'm coming up blank. Comment anything you can up with thank you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_th1nker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
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Why did the baker throw away the bread someone gave him?

Because he didn't knead it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Do my dough puns make you cringe?

That's the yeast of my concerns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sajinib
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why did the baker smell like shit?

Because he kneaded a poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasta__mouse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I don't usually make bread puns

They're always too crummy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairywithcancer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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We don't knead dough to have a good time.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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I may not have the fanciest dough mixing machine...

but it handles all my kneads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I almost missed my cake day!

That would have been real crumby.

Edit: thanks for the gifts! I’ve never felt so kneaded.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.

When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Why did the Baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Borguschain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :

I knead one of those!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LagartoDorado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Why is money called dough?

Because we all knead it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Shoutout to my peeps working at cheap pizza restaurants

Guess we knead the dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepgreenfoam
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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How hard is it to track down a bread thief?

It's painstaking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/microbeerology
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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My wife is studying to become a massage therapist

All she wants to do is study and practice. I’ve got to cook; I’ve got to clean. It’s tough.

But I have to say, at the end of the day, it does feel nice to be kneaded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/recentlyunearthed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He kneaded a jobby

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomiseUsr0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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You "knead" this

http://imgur.com/CqCBwHn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/takingapoop1992
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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I am a bread making apprentice, I knead to know!

This joke is crumby.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahChristopher
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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