When making pastries, you wouldn't want to overdough the kneading
I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...
But then I found out that would be massage-ony.
Wife: Some people say kneading dough relaxes them but it does nothing for me.
Me: So what you're saying is you don't need it?
(she wasn't impressed)
Was telling my dad that I need to trim my cat's claws due to how painful her kneading was getting...
"she's just practicing catupuncture!"
I kneaded you, but you weren't bready for the commitment.
I truly kneaded this today.
I truly kneaded this today.
A student baked a loaf of bread for foods class.
At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.
The student said: “Thanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
I just LOAF that suitcase, and i KNEAD one now...
Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
My dad worked in a pizza shop through college so he could afford to eat something other than ramen.
He was kneading the dough.
In case you're feeling crummy.
Why do pizza makers go to work everyday?
Why did the baker throw away the bread someone gave him?
Because he didn't knead it!
I am a bread making apprentice, I knead to know!
Why did the baker smell like shit?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I kneaded this so hard right now.
Do my dough puns make you cringe?
That's the yeast of my concerns
I may not have the fanciest dough mixing machine...
but it handles all my kneads.
A baker has a crumby job, its the yeast of his concerns as he probably just kneads the dough
Why did the Baker have brown hands?
True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :
Shoutout to my peeps working at cheap pizza restaurants
Why is money called dough?
Why does cat kneaded dough make the best bread?
Because it's made from scratch!
My wife is studying to become a massage therapist
All she wants to do is study and practice. I’ve got to cook; I’ve got to clean. It’s tough.
But I have to say, at the end of the day, it does feel nice to be kneaded
I don't usually make bread puns
They're always too crummy
I think we knead a pun about bread on here.
How hard is it to track down a bread thief?
I almost missed my cake day!
That would have been real crumby.
Edit: thanks for the gifts! I’ve never felt so kneaded.
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
I knead help
I have a new bird. At the moment he is nameless. I would like an awesome pun name for him but I'm coming up blank. Comment anything you can up with thank you
My cat came up to me and meowed imploringly then started massaging my leg with its paws...
I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.
When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"
Does anyone have any good bread puns?
I knead more so my humor can rise.
We don't knead dough to have a good time.
My poor friend recently became a baker.
He really kneaded the dough.
Why was the baker desperate in the morning?
Because he kneaded flour before the buyers arrived.
(Thanks, I will go now)
I was going to make a bread joke instead of a cake day joke...
On reflection though, I don’t knead to as it would be seedy, half baked, would get me rolled, wouldn’t involve me using my loaf and would leave me open to all sort of bread based buns...
I think I'll become a baker.
I really knead the dough.
I added water to our bread machine
I don’t know if it worked, but it kneaded it.
What did the baker say when he robbed a bank?
I am a bread making apprentice, I knead to know!
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