Body puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonna-chill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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What is your most trendy body part?

Hip

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife arrived for an appointment and texted me "There's no body here!"

"Well I hope you would call the cops if there were"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red3biggs
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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What part of your body, dies last?

Your pupils, as they dielate

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty-Slippers
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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I failed my biology test. I mislabeled every body part but one.

At least my heart was in the right place.

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LudwigVonPhoenix
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What do you call a man with no nose and no body?

Nobody nose.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ms-Blue
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium

Me: 0Mg

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who had the left side of his body cut off?

He’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urmed02
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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Where does a zombie get a spare body part

Second hand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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I accidentally sprayed myself in the mouth with body spray today

Now I have this weird Axe scent

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LykoStudios
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Doctor- Your body is completely out of magnesium.

Patient- OMG! Doctor- Exactly

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benglescott
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What body of water will make you sick?

The hepatitis-sea.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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So apparently when you die, the last part of your body that stops working is your pupils..

It’s because they di-late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_beard2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What organ in your body enlarges four times when you are excited?

Your pupils

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Docfess
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Funeral homes might start displaying bodies of the deceased again after Covid-19 lockdown...

But that remains go be seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianHusky
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.

She took it as a condiment.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avandoorslaer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?

Spine.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HisokaLaMagician
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.

Then, I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the body builder say when he realized that he was all out of protein shake mix?

"NO WHEY!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, β€œIf someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”

I told her I think it’s worth a shot

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dnizzle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A pyromaniac from my hometown accidentally killed himself in a fire, but nobody even showed up to identify the body.

I guess he urned it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1P221
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I've got the body of a porn star....

All my clothes says XXXX.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you call someone with no body and no nose?

-Nobody knows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aovl93
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?

A tiny part of me says yes.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend from Prague came over to play D&D. Instead of just a face mask, he's wearing full body armor

The Czech is in the mail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the police identify the body of a dead monk?

They checked his transcen-dental records.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funk_Dunker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it...

I probably should have told her about the new electric fence..

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerDurdenSEA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I Think that body positivity is great.

But I'd rather have antibodies

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assblasterX3000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning

It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.

πŸ‘︎ 40k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A book never written: "Properly Managing Body Odor"

Author: G. U. Stink

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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When you die and donate you body to science...

it's a "dead giveaway"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yonatanruff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
An arm with no body crawls into a military recruiting station. /r/Jokes/comments/m4tpxh/…
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aguynamedbry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend had the left side of his body ripped off in an accident.

But the doctor said he’ll be all right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.

So I googled and told him exactly what I found.

Basically a skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Introducing the fauna of the human body
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aj_seravla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the body temperature of a tauntaun?

Lukewarm

πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a unidentified body after a long time?

John Sour-Doe

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phs_uw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
When you die, what part of the body dies last?

The pupils....they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Which part of your body is the last thing to die?

Your eyes. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark503
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are pupils the last part of your body to die?

Because they dilate.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body

I gave her a shoulder to crayon

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Whenever my girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body

I gave her a shoulder to crayon...

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feveroth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you call someone with no body and a nose

Nobody-knows

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/le_kif420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nose with no body?

Nobody nose.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GREENHOWLER18
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

No body nose

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brionac07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/makunahatata27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report

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