My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
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︎ May 06 2020
I want to bake all my bread from now on.
You can say is a loaf-ty goal.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
People are so sad Iβm not entering the bake off this year.
Even their cakes are in tiers.
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︎ Apr 04 2020
How many Rabbi does it take to bake bread?
As many as you want just donβt use eleaven...
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I canβt bake a pun thatβll crack you up because theyβre all scrambled in my head
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︎ Jan 31 2020
My wife told me a French Torte was the hardest thing to bake
Turned out to be a piece of cake
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︎ May 01 2020
I wanted to have some dessert, but I forgot to bake it.
I guess I couldn't have my cake and heat it too.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I broke up with my girlfriend cuz she always wanted me to help her bake bread...
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 15 2020
To bake a Treabeard cake ...
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 03 2020
Benjamin Orr from The Cars loved to bake bread.
Every time her looked down at the dough, he thought βI guess youβre just what I kneadedβ
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 25 2019
My boyfriend told me he wanted to bake pie-
I said "Can I bake a pie with you?"
He said " i'm not tasty enough to be in a pie."
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 18 2019
I was going to bake some Hitler-shaped cookies but decided against it.
That sort of thing always leaves a nazi taste in everyone's mouth.
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︎ Apr 07 2018
What did the weed smoker bake?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 26 2019
My son ask why we used a pie pan to bake a pie.
I told him so that it would come out pie pan hot.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 15 2019
Managed to bake something on my first try.
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 12 2019
I asked my fiancee what letters you need to put together for that ground up stuff you bake bread with. She said it's...
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 03 2019
I bake apple pies for a living. I recently bought an apple corer, but I quit using it...
...because it was boring.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 27 2019
Growing up in Milwaukee my dad always wanted me to learn how to bake
However, I was really just not interested at all.
One day, I decided to make the old man happy and told him I'd like to learn how to make a cake.
He grabbed a bowl, put three eggs in it and handed me a Whisk.
What do I do with this dad?
"Whisk On Son!"
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 02 2019
Never let a miserable man bake a cake.
π︎ 40
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︎ Jan 28 2019
How do you bake toilet paper?
I'm not really sure, but I know How to brown it on one side.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 04 2019
When grizzlies bake pies they donβt use oven mitts, they use their bear hands.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 21 2019
Did you hear about the man who was running late because he tried to bake chicken with only one ingredient?
He managed to cook it just in thyme.
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︎ Oct 17 2018
Me: Anything to eat? Wife: There's salmon I baked in the fridge. Me: Next time you should bake it the oven. Waka waka waka!
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︎ Apr 04 2014
My dog kept on chasing people on a bake, it got so bad I had to take it away from him.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 19 2018
I bake a mean apple pie....
Did whoever the apple pie was mean too, cry?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 01 2018
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 04 2018
When Persian chefs agree to have a bread bake-off...
...do they sign a naan-competition agreement?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 23 2015
I decided to bake some Indian flatbread alongside my BBQ brisket...
...so now I'm a naan smoker.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 05 2017
My friend offers a no bake cookie he made
Friend: Does anyone want a no bake cookie?
Me: Sure (eats cookie).
Friend: How do they taste?
Me: Ehh... They seem a little undercooked.
Commence groans.
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︎ Jun 28 2014
At what temperature should you bake a pie in the oven?
360 degrees. That way you get 2pi.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 14 2014
What does a velociraptor need to bake a cake?
http://i.imgur.com/JRyWdug.jpg
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 29 2015
No-Bake Cookies
My brother's girlfriend is eating a no-bake cookie in the kitchen. My dad comes in and screams "I didn't bake those for you!!" "In fact no one did!"
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 09 2014
I canβt bake a good pun that will crack you up, theyβre all just scrambled in my head
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 02 2020
People are so sad, I'm not entering the Bake Off this year
Even their cakes are in tiers
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 16 2020
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