My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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I want to bake all my bread from now on.

You can say is a loaf-ty goal.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake

I guess that's why they call it window pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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People are so sad I’m not entering the bake off this year.

Even their cakes are in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 505
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bovinejabronie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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How many Rabbi does it take to bake bread?

As many as you want just don’t use eleaven...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooperba2929
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I can’t bake a pun that’ll crack you up because they’re all scrambled in my head

I’m such a egghead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashgallade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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My wife told me a French Torte was the hardest thing to bake

Turned out to be a piece of cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the02guy
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I wanted to have some dessert, but I forgot to bake it.

I guess I couldn't have my cake and heat it too.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gameronomist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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I broke up with my girlfriend cuz she always wanted me to help her bake bread...

She was too kneady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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To bake a Treabeard cake ...

... is really enticing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JetSetMiner
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Benjamin Orr from The Cars loved to bake bread.

Every time her looked down at the dough, he thought β€œI guess you’re just what I kneaded”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/surgicalfunnel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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My boyfriend told me he wanted to bake pie-

I said "Can I bake a pie with you?"

He said " i'm not tasty enough to be in a pie."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devoodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I was going to bake some Hitler-shaped cookies but decided against it.

That sort of thing always leaves a nazi taste in everyone's mouth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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What did the weed smoker bake?

Pot pie.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mein-Kampf-2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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My son ask why we used a pie pan to bake a pie.

I told him so that it would come out pie pan hot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Spit_on_Cougars
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Managed to bake something on my first try.

It was a piece of cake.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fetaplays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I asked my fiancee what letters you need to put together for that ground up stuff you bake bread with. She said it's...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baltinerdist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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I bake apple pies for a living. I recently bought an apple corer, but I quit using it...

...because it was boring.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gasoline_Dion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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Growing up in Milwaukee my dad always wanted me to learn how to bake

However, I was really just not interested at all.
One day, I decided to make the old man happy and told him I'd like to learn how to make a cake. He grabbed a bowl, put three eggs in it and handed me a Whisk. What do I do with this dad? "Whisk On Son!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/armyjackson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Never let a miserable man bake a cake.

It'll only end in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drondol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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How do you bake toilet paper?

I'm not really sure, but I know How to brown it on one side.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatrineTee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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When grizzlies bake pies they don’t use oven mitts, they use their bear hands.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Did you hear about the man who was running late because he tried to bake chicken with only one ingredient?

He managed to cook it just in thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lalumpala
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: Anything to eat? Wife: There's salmon I baked in the fridge. Me: Next time you should bake it the oven. Waka waka waka!
πŸ‘︎ 445
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
🚨︎ report
My dog kept on chasing people on a bake, it got so bad I had to take it away from him.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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I bake a mean apple pie....

Did whoever the apple pie was mean too, cry?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?

It's meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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When Persian chefs agree to have a bread bake-off...

...do they sign a naan-competition agreement?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laringar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2015
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I decided to bake some Indian flatbread alongside my BBQ brisket...

...so now I'm a naan smoker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vandezuma
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend offers a no bake cookie he made

Friend: Does anyone want a no bake cookie?

Me: Sure (eats cookie).

Friend: How do they taste?

Me: Ehh... They seem a little undercooked.

Commence groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fauxhawkism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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At what temperature should you bake a pie in the oven?

360 degrees. That way you get 2pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musicninja
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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What does a velociraptor need to bake a cake?

http://i.imgur.com/JRyWdug.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahandmadegrin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
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No-Bake Cookies

My brother's girlfriend is eating a no-bake cookie in the kitchen. My dad comes in and screams "I didn't bake those for you!!" "In fact no one did!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c_dog69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
🚨︎ report
I can’t bake a good pun that will crack you up, they’re all just scrambled in my head

i’m such a egg head

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashgallade
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
People are so sad, I'm not entering the Bake Off this year

Even their cakes are in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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