A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.

β€œI’m a turtle,” he says. β€œOh... who’s on your back?” β€œThat’s Michelle,” he replies.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safazz146
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the electrician happy to arrive at his house after work?

Because there’s no place like ohm.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

About Tennish

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
do you know why police like to arrive early at riots?

They like to beat the crowd!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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A man arrives at the hospital seconds after his wife gave birth to his son.

He was pronounced Dad On Arrival

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catoenailsoup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
[totally true story just happened to me:] *the setup* staying in an airbnb... another guest arrives, he is a neuro-surgeon from south korea... interviewing at UCSF - I built that hosptial, so said to him

Wow, neuro-surgeon huh... I'd like to pick your brain....

He did not get it...

(those type of pun opportunities dont come to mind that often...) ((another one bitches))

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarah_Connor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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A delivery man arrives at Chipotle

Delivery Man: Here's your queso guacamole

Manager: Is that a new flavor of guacamole?

Delivery Man: Nope it's just a case of it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoopsToops
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A boy arrives home from a long day at school

... and noticed 3 pieces of meat hanging from the celing upon entering his house. The boy asks his father, "What's this about?" The dad replies, "If you can jump up and slap the meat, you don't have to do any chores for the next month. However, if you miss, you have to do your chores and your brother's chores, along with no video games for a month. Still wanna do it?" The boy replies, "No thanks, I'm good." The dad responds, "I figured you would say that, I did raise the steaks pretty high."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itslqb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
A photon arrives at the hotel reception...

"Excuse me Sir, do you have any baggage to check in?" "No, I'm travelling light"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacredsnail
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2015
🚨︎ report
What time does Sean Connery typically arrive at Wimbledon?

"Tennish" RIP Sir Sean.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corpsman223
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

About tennish.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bum-Sniffer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A naked man arrives at a fancy dress party with a girl on his back.

β€œI’m a turtle” he says

Oh...well who’s that on your back then?

He replies, β€œThat’s Michelle...”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kcambridge35
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Ten-ish

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What time dose Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon

Ten-Ish

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SneakyBus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What time dose Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

10ish

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SneakyBus
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
When, roughly, does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon

Tennish

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardedgeordie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
🚨︎ report

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