A list of puns related to "Arriving"
...happy days!
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
Guys, Iran into something
Well, I'll be damned!
Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"
"Yes you are"
Maybe you should be a better doctorβ
I picked up some friends from the airport who were traveling back from a Holiday trip around Europe last night. After asking them how they were, one of my friends were complaining about their left ear feeling full and they couldn't hear out of it. So naturally, I looked over and asked, "So you're alright, then?"
Pull up. See some Death Note cosplayers walking into the building. Suddenly hear dad as we exit the car, "YEAH! GO BUSINESSMAN!"
Goddammit, dad. Just let this whole place know you don't belong here.
...but then I decided to let it slide.
I replied, 'of course it's thick. Envelopes and pieces of paper do not tend to have a very high IQ'.
It had more of an Elon Musk.
From there, it's all downhill.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
The mortician asked the deceasedβs wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit heβs already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says βI donβt care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.β The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, βwhatever this costs Iβm very satisfied, you did an excellent job and Iβm incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?β To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says βthereβs no charge.β Shocked she replies βno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.β βHonestly maβamβ, the mortician says, βit costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.β
Bidet bidet bidet, thatβs all folks.
Season's greetings!
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
βIβm a turtle,β he says. βOh... whoβs on your back?β βThatβs Michelle,β he replies.
Leaves
Amazon Prime
Justin time. (Got it from that tracer voiceline)
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
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My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
Because thereβs no place like ohm.
2022 wonβt be arriving for at least a year.
They like to beat the crowd!!!!
About Tennish
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
Because everyone knows the first rule of writing is βshow, donβt tellβ
Mi auw
They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.
It was a perfect Sunday.
Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.
They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said
"Ketchup"
The lab clerk says βI thought you wanted a beakers dozen!β
This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.
Joke by Terry Pratchett, βThe Colour of Magicβ, Prologue.
May i please cumin
Looks like the boa cons tricked her...
The lumberjack grinned and said: βAnd you will dialogue.β
It's about Time!
It took me thirty years to get here.
Itβs okay, Iβm patient
Couldnβt have come monsoon enough!
...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".
"Tennish" RIP Sir Sean.
About tennish.
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