True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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To all ya'll in Texas without tap water

Get well soon.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Wild Falcons live to be about 13. So all the Falcons in the wild today were born in the 21st Century.

They're Millennial Falcons

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
It's an Archie Bunker! I built a replica of the All in the Family house INSIDE a giant basement in the Sims 4. reddit.com/gallery/mv4w82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K80Bot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrevAccountBanned
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..

..this isn't for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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All in the family
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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In the best Dadjoke move of all time..

Stephen King actually named his son Joe.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Futch1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JesusSaves002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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My friend called me in a panic and shouted, β€œAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he’s really a big lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?

A stamp

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cosmic_Fox_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do all the super heroes in South Africa come from?

Cape Town

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepBlueCheese
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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You all tell dad jokes in here....

But do you know when a joke is a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHDIKOULAS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Anakin was a bad student. Never paid attention in class, never took any tests seriously. All his teachers were angry with him. Teacher Obi-Wan was specially worried when he had to say,

"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Heard y’all like puns (flies were found dead, butter was found at the grocery store in the dairy isle)
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soflytaxidermy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Feel blessed to live in Hawai'i but apparently, I'm just not a funny guy. Every time I tell a joke, all I get is...

a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Which one of the bees do all the sick bees in the beehive go to?

The Dr one

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A curious child asked her mom, "why are you starting to get some grey hairs in with all your dark hair?"

Seizing this as a moral teaching moment she tells her daughter this little white lie, "Well young lady, when a daughter does something naughty, one of her mother's hairs turns grey."

After several moments of deep thought her daughter says to her mother, "So, mommy is that why all of grandma's hair is grey????"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irishman you can leave outside all night in the rain?

Paddy O'Furniture!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey_Neat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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I'm sure you've all heard about the ship stuck in the middle of the Suez canal

If I were that captain I'd be so ashamed I'd commit Suezside

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bovabu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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I know that I've told y'all this before, but after not turning in his assignments and not coming to class all school year...

This bear's repeating.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belscnickle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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Bill Clinton is banned from all the French bakeries in his neighborhood.

He kept feeling their pain.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!"

Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?

In the Ark Hives.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JP-Seven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I purchased a new kitchen sink and the delivery man never told me he left in on my doorstep. Sat there all day

Just let that sink in

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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I went to a supermarket in the United Arab Emirates, but all the shelves were empty.

There was literally nothing Dubai.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...

But I can Samurais

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
*howls aggressively* "IM GOIN ALL IN BABY"
πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_thunder_struck_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
In scotland we name all our road gritters pun based names
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thicchaggisboi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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All the toilets in the police station have been stolen!

Unfortunately, the cops have nothing to go on...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A little know story about Mozart is that in 1785 he killed all of his chickens.

When he asked who the best composer was, they kept replying β€œBach, Bach, Bach”

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks

I want to be a bouillonaire.

πŸ‘︎ 379
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2ndbreakfastfan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elanstake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I was an uber driver for a bunch of pro wrestlers, they were so tired after their show they all just stacked on top of each other in my backseat

I guess I was the pile driver

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL: In spite of Covid, all African countries are insisting that customers should sit in a restaurant and eat dinner.

Except Togo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Lately I’ve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.

I’m starting my own hedge fund.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
To the guy in the wheelchair participating in the DC insurrection dressed all in camouflage.

You can hide, but you can’t run!

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/screamtrumpet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I've written a stage representation of a story in which all lines are puns, and the stage is covered with the pages of a dictionary...

It's a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCatSkits
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...

I’m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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All of my socks have holes in them!

How do you think I get my feet in them?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BatDubb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.

Only one was like "Yemen"

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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My wife just complained that I've been in the garden all day tending to the herbs.

Apparently I have way too much thyme on my hands.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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